Emotions

I cannot measure how I am emotionally.

I know I am competitive when it comes to sports and the likes (Conflict of Law proved this). Pero I can accept defeats.

But as to being carried by emotions easily, I am not sure. There are movies or even TV shows that can get me teary-eyed. But it varies.

As to getting frustrated, it happens to me. Yes, there are times I get frustrated with myself. Yes, I do get frustrated with others labi na if apil-apilon ko na wala di ai koy labot. There was a time I was really frustrated with another person but all is well. He got my point.

Yes, I got disappointed as to the few reactions I got from an unexpected person. He cannot blame me. In the end, he was able to say his piece and so did I. Kana laging taas ang expectation bah! Maybe I had my expectations, too. I expected that if he had doubts as to my personality, he should have confronted me sa una pa lang. Oh, well.

And just today, as I was making our Affidavit-Complaint for Legal Forms, I browsed through the some-kinda controversial Answer that another group made for us.

Medyo ok na ako nun. As much as I can, I do not ask favors as long as there are still things that I can do about it. But I do grant favors whenever I can. Pero if wala, so be it. Lessons learned.

So, the story goes like this. We made an error as to the jurisdiction of the complaint we first made. When I found out about it, I asked the other group if it was all right to have it changed, just two or three words - from RTC to MTCC. So, ok they will discuss it first. At first, he said OK. But, then, looking at their answer, it would affect their jurisdiction. So, huwag na lang.

I was frustrated but I said my piece na. I do not care if other groups made concessions with one another. Ayaw ko talaga mamilit.

So, ok. They submitted their answer. I did not look at it until today.

I found out that we forgot to affix the signature of the affiant in the verification and that our document number was repeated. So, that was part of their defense.

Fine. We overlooked some stuff. We made a mistake.

But I just have to say my piece.

I am frustrated. Sure, if time comes when we are lawyers, we would have made the same defenses as to such overlooked stuff. I cannot blame anyone who makes a career out of these legal forms.

But it just shows how a few do not make concessions. Do not worry. I am not asking that we affix our signature or change the document number.

Siguro, we just cannot expect that people will act the same way we do. Actually, I really do not expect such. But when it actually happens, reality hits you.

No matter how nice you act to another person, do not expect that such person will always be nice to you or that such will be reciprocated. Since this was a classroom setting pa, so konting respeto lang na mainform kami beforehand sa aming errors or magkaintindihan o mag-usap lang gud.

Siguro may point din iyon na pag lawyers, ganito man din talaga ang gawin mo. Pero hello! Amicable settlement is preferred baya!

I do not take this against the whole group, only just one person and he knows who he is.

Kapoy makipagplastic. I will say my piece to him and then, I will be all right. I will continue to treat him with kindness. Ok, try to treat him with kindness.

I just have to write this because I am having a difficulty making our affidavit-complaint thinking about this. Kelangan ilabas. Kanino ko ilabas? Sa aso namin? Kaya dito na lang.

I think ok na ako :)

Basket Case

If you have the time to listen to me whine, about nothing and everything all at once .. then, read on :)

Well, let me correct that. I am not whining. I just have a lot of stuff going on in my head. I know, not again! Yes, again it is. I guess it is normal for me to think of a lot of stuff.

Our professor mentioned about that he has nothing against us making class case digests as long as we understand the case. From his perspective, it must be quite amusing seeing us turning over pages at the same time while someone is assigned to recite on a case .. haha ... But he has a point, we have to really understand the case and not just read it. He said that during his time (not too long ago as he emphasized) they read full text cases and memorize the cases.

As much as I can, I try to read full text cases. But, admittedly, nowadays, I have become dependent to our class assigned case digests. It is not about being lazy or making excuses that I am busy. I know everyone is busy. I guess it is just a matter of priorities, of which stuff to read first and which subject to study extensively.

In fairness, I am proud of our class case digests prepared for class recitation. Usually, mahahaba na parang full text na rin. The normal length is 1/2 lengthwise of a long bond paper, Tahoma font, size 8, with .6 margins on all sides. O, ha! I should know .. hehe. Basta, pang-recit mga digests. Hindi iyong pang-fourth year or review na super short.

Anyway, it was also mentioned in class as to being third year students and how near we are as to reaching our goal. Hopefully, we'll never be far na. I just thought getting failed grades (simbako) at this point could make me one chaotic person. I pray we do well.

I am not sure what our Spec Pro professor will tell us on Friday. But the class, as a whole, did not fair well in our first exam. All of us were given plus 10 pts so that more people could pass. I am thankful, nevertheless, that I did well. But I pray makabawi sa next exam. We only have 2 exams. In fairness, I think the questions were really based on provisions. Pero because may true or false and enumeration, no extra points for efforts. Likewise for the essay type questions. Pag walang sense ang sagot, walang points rin. Tapos, iyong subject din talaga is complicated. Hala, excuses jud!

It is just so funny that I hear a lot of stories people share to me every now and then. I try not to be a gossipmonger. I seldom share stuff na alam ko hindi ok pagbinalita sa iba. I am not being righteous. And I am not saying na I don't talk about other people. It is just that pag medyo sensitive ang topic, I hear but it is not often that I speak about it. And I thank people who entrust me with such stories ;)

Lately, I have been forgetting a number of things. I mean I still remember some stuff. I remember to bring stuff, but then forget to give it to the person I intended to give to. Basta, there are times I need constant reminders para lang maalala ko. Sa awa ng Diyos, mukhang normal pa ang memory ko when it comes to exams and class stuff - normal as in there are things I remember, and then, there are things na I forget. Normal!

I was ecstatic yesterday when I found out na, at least, ang last sine na napanood ko sa sinehan eh Enchanted around November. I am happy na hindi yung Harry Potter/Die Hard/Transformers.

I haven't read a novel in over a year. Buti na lang required reading sa PALE ang To Kill A Mockingbird. So, basa uli ako. I have read it 4 years ago, so kailangan i-refresh ang memory.

Marami-rami na ata akong na-share sa ngayon .. hehe .. sa uulitin ...

It all keeps adding up!

Sometimes

Minsan ang dami kong iniisip pero hindi alam ng iba

Minsan akala ng iba ok ako pero medyo hindi

Minsan naiinis rin ako pero sa loob loob ko lang

Minsan napapaisip ako kung tama nga ba iyong ginawa or hindi ko ginawa

Minsan hindi na lang ako nagsasalita pero mahirap rin talaga

Minsan napupuno rin ako pero hindi ko alam kung nailabas ko na o kelangan bang ilabas

Minsan iniisip ko na tama na baka san pa mapunta

Minsan iniisip ko na sige na nga wala namang masama

Minsan gusto ko magkwento pero di bale na lang

Minsan inuuna ko ang mga bagay na hindi pala importante

Minsan hindi ko alam kung ano ang importante

Minsan naiisip ko kung may sinabi ba dapat ako

Minsan ayaw ko sa sitwasyon ko

Minsan napapagod din ako

Minsan sana maintindihan din ako

Minsan wala akong magawa kahit gusto ko mang tumulong

Minsan gusto kong ipaalala ang pagkakamali ko

Minsan gusto kong ipaalala ang sinabi ko

Minsan mabuti na lang na huwag nang magsisihan

Minsan kulang ata ang ibinibigay ko

Minsan naman sobra na rin ata

Kadalasan magulo talaga ang buhay .. pero ganun talaga :)

Food, Party and People

Ah, the past 3 days has been quite a blast for me. Hectic, but a blast nevertheless!

After the Valentine dinner at Harana, my Friday was sort of hectic since our class had to submit our digests for Torts. Good thing I was able to relax with a dinner at Coco's and dessert at Kasagingan with such dear friends .. hehe .. salamat sa inyong 3 :)

I was able to get home just in time for KC's Maalala. Bilib din ako kay KC mag-iyak. However, parang pinakita na halos lahat sa trailer and wala na masyadong bago sa episode mismo.

Saturday was hectic pa rin. I had to decline attending the dedication of my friend's son because I was not yet able to finish up with some tasks I had to do for our victory party that same night. I also declined to meet up a friend I haven't seen in years since may victory party nga kami.

Anyway, we had our victory party na .. at last! After two weeks of being declared champions, nag-party na rin kami!

There were some quirks that needed to be ironed out pero good thing that we have one cool group. Issues were addressed and nagkasya ang pera .. ayos talaga!

We started an hour late kasi konti pa lang talaga ang tao. Actually, konti lang ang nagpunta. Probably, just a little bit more than half of the batch plus some guests. Aside from the teachers, some staff from the Law School office were present as well as choreographers and instructors. But that should not stop us from having a blast di ba?

We just had enough food and hindi nagkulang kasi may sobra pa naman.

I was happy that our professors in Evidence, Tax, PALE, Legal Forms and Legal Counselling were present. Naki-videoke pa sa amin .. ayos talaga!

Tapos, there was viewing din through DVD of the events that transpired. Natuwa ako kasi kahit walang projector .. may TV and we get to reminisce our moments .. hehe

Anyway, after our dinner. We had our awards presentation .. hehe. We had a blast with this last year so inulit namin this year.

Ano ba naman iyon? Best New Artist ako .. nge! Pero in fairness, 1 vote lang lamang ko .. hehe. And in fairness uli, marami talagang new artists this year. I also got the Ms. Conflicts of Law 2008 award .. ewan ko anong nakain ng mga batchmate ko at ako ang gisulat. Pero salamat sa inyo .. hehe

After that, we had that Pinoy Henyo game .. hala .. career jud ba! Gusto talaga manalo ng mga tao. Then, we had the videoke na .. kanta to the max jud!

Makatuwa rin talaga kasi the teachers were game as well .. kanta din sila. Basta happy ako pag-ganun ...

Anyway, I left at 12:30 am. I had fun. I did not expect to have that much fun because I was basically tired the whole day. But the party was all fun!

Sa uulitin? For now, mag-study na sab .. hehe

My Funny Valentine's Day

Okay .. it was not super funny but it was fun nevertheless. Yes, there is a difference between being funny (as in laughing all the way) and having fun (happy, happy .. joy, joy).

Yes, I dressed in black since our class decided to be in black. Napana ni Piolo? Hehe

As expected, a number did not expect what I wore that day. But, it was fun for me and besides, minsan lang iyong magbihis ako na parang girl .. hehe

But the highlight was probably our class picture taking in our Corporation class. Our professor shared some quotes and lingaw pakinggan. He made a comment about a shirt being worn by the fourth year: "Study first. Love can wait." He said: "If it can't wait, then, it's not love." Ayos!

Siyempre, picture-picture din with our Legal Forms professor and classmates.

Then, a number of us had dinner at Harana. Picture-picture na sad .. haha ..

Afterwhich, I went home. I had some case digests to make and some stuff read. Ika nga .. study first :)

Later and tomorrow, malamang .. picture-picture gihapon .. hehe

Happy Hearts Day!

The clock says its 12:10 A.M. Happy Valentine's Day then

I don't think Valentine's day is only for those who are attached. Singles need not sulk and moan that this day is nor for them .. ai, us pala .. hehe

As a child, Valentine's day is making cards and giving them to our parents and teachers. So, early on, we have been thought that this day is not just for those so-called lovers.

Actually, I think Valentine's day is for those who own restaurants, who make cards, who sell flowers and who peddle chocolates. Yes, in the end, it boils down to them .. hehe

But whether one allows commercialism to set in is precisely that, we allow it to be an occasion to spend.

On the other hand, we can make it as one of those special occasions - which without spending much - we show gratitude to those who love us and whom we have shared our lives with.

Yes, Valentine's day is for family and friends as well.

I try to wake up early and do make the warmest greeting to my parents and even my siblings.

At the end of the day, or shall I say night, it is spent with friends. For the past two years, I spent it having dinner with classmates. No regrets there since I knew it was time well spent.

I am not sure today though.

Of course, I will celebrate by dressing up "black" just as our class discussed, or else, hindi kasama sa pictorials (sosyal!). Medyo effort ang magbihis talaga sa akin .. pero sige lang, minsan lang ito eh .. hehe

I am pretty sure we will have a grand day as always.

Today, I felt tired before leaving for school. A lot of things were running in my mind and I am thinking how can I make things work.

However, when I got to school and had the usual talks with classmates and friends, I felt more at ease. I don't know. They must really be great people to be with and maybe well worth spending Valentine's day with.

Yes, I think this is going to be a nice Valentine's day. And a post-Valentine celebration could be great as well. Top that with a victory party over the weekend.

I do pray things will work out.

It's 12:23 a.m. My phone is beeping with forwarded Valentine's message. The TV is showing American Idol. My insurance book is calling out to me to read it.

Ah, yes! Valentine's day

Transformer

There are moments which define the individuals that we are. Sometimes, such moments reinforce who we already are. Sometimes, it shows that we are more capable than what is expected of us. Sometimes, it depicts how much is expected of us - how we lived up to such expectation or how much we have disappointed others.

I never expected a few reactions I received after the Conflicts of Law. Yup, Conflicts ra gihapon ni .. I know, dapat magmove-on na. But there are things that need to be addressed .. hehe

Just a quick refresher. I blogged the following last January 12:

This year, we want to have fun more than anything else. This was my mantra last year and I am making the same mantra this year. If our aim is to have fun, winning will most probably follow. Kung mapildi, at least nalingaw mi! Since nag-amot nami ani, why not do our best, have fun and have that passion for excellence?

A number of our players last year will now be playing for second year. On my part, I do not ask them not to participate and not to do their best just to give way for us. I ask them to do what they want to do. We all just have one life to live anyway!

I just pray that they don't get offended with those words that I say. It is all in the spirit of fun. When I say see you in court, then, we will see each other in court. When I say we will do our best, yes, we will do things with the passion for excellence. And besides, I only say these to those that I really know. Ginasabi ko lang ito dun sa mga alam ko na alam nila na lingaw-lingaw lang gud sa akin. Ayaw ko na yang kalaban-kalaban, unless ako na ang ginakalaban .. Ah! Ibang usapan na iyan .. haha!

I am quite saddened that there are a few who felt I have "transformed" before and during the said Conflicts of Law. I am not sure about the after part .. I guess you have to ask such persons .. hehe.

I need not explain everything here as I believe this is a personal issue to those persons who felt slighted with how the way I acted during the past few weeks. I have already talked to them. But there is still one conversation that is still to be concluded .. niabot man gud si ma'am .. hehe.

Yes, maybe there was a side of me that was shown of which a number of people did not expect. I guess some did not expect that I would be joining the cheerdance competition and the bottles and straws. Heck, I even had some reactions when I said I was going to attend the badminton practice. Maybe they did not expect that I would support the grievance complaint.

But we are the ones who create expectations based on what we see, feel and experience. But such basis are sometimes limited. And the next thing you know, each individual goes out-of-the-box definition.

Yes, I admit I am emotionally competitive. When push comes to shove, I just don't sit and watch. I take action. But not to the extent that I offend other people. As I have explained, my intentions were always clear and I act in good faith. If I have offended you, I am sorry. If your perception of me has changed, I will respect that. In the first place, you were the ones who created such impression of me. I never pretended something that I am not. As I have said, I try to be consistently inconsistent. A predictable life is quite a bore .. hehe.

Anyhow, medyo nagets ko na why a few had negative reactions. All the while I was thinking that I was kidding and joking .. teasing about "see you in court" and all such kanchaw. As I've said in my previous blog, lingaw-lingaw lang to. It so happens that other mistook it as if I was serious. Am I serious? hehe .. All those kanchaw were in the spirit of fun for me and I delivered such punch lines only to those I know na ma-joke-an ko. Sorry, if naintimidate or na-offend kayo sa hirit ko. Sana sinabi na ninyo na hindi ok sa inyo kasi joke-joke lang talaga sa akin iyong mga hirit na iyon. Feel ko kasi sport kayo and mahiritan ko kayo. Mali pala ako :(

For now, medyo clear na siya konti for me. I hope ok na rin iyong iba. Wala man akong problema. If feel niyo na nag-transform ako, so be it. Ang important for now is that in the end, all is well :)

Ok? Study na ta balik :)

Grateful

GOD heard and granted my prayers .. quite literally :)

My birthday wish was for us to be the over-all champions in our Conflicts of Law. I made such wish when I blew out the candles on a cake which was a surprise from Teen, Bhing and Sol. Grabe! Napaiyak ako with matching tawa .. haha .. truly grateful for such a nice surprise.

When I blew out the candles, I made three wishes - sana ma-over-all champions kami, ma-champion sa cheerdance and ma-champion sa basketball (to make up for disappointing the boys dahil minalas ako sa pag-draw lots). Only the first wish was granted .. pero ok na iyon. Siguro, abuso na and masyado na akong malakas kay Lord pag-nagkatotoo lahat iyon.

If you have read a previous blog of mine, I wrote that I joined a number of competitions and made a fervent wish na sana ma-champion ako/kami sa kahit isa lang man sa sinalihan ko na competition. I joined cheerdance, legal pictionary, badminton and bottles and straws. Competition din ba ang grievance? hehe

I know that our performance in cheerdance was splendid, awesome, fabulous! Unfortunately, second lang kami. Well, respeto na lang sa judges' decision. I'm pretty sure it was a close fight. Akala ko, eto na iyong machampion ako .. hehe. Pero kung ako ang judge, champion jud kami sa cheerdance - synchronization, originality (skipping rope and garter!!), level of difficulty (pinakamaraming lifts, may helicopter pa!!) and costume (out of this world!). Happy na ako sa reactions na nakuha right after the competition, seeing our teachers' and friends' reaction. Happy na ako na proud mom and dad ko sa performance namin na ilang gabi rin ako late mag-uwi .. hehe (pinanood nila sa video). Happy na rin ako kasi nalingaw ako sa mga kasama ko .. hindi lang sa pagpractice, pati sabay pa magdinner. In the end, gusto ko talaga lingaw lahat ang gawin. Pag nanalo, konsuwelo na iyon. Pagnatalo, at least, nalingaw ako :) And with all honesty, I really had fun joining the cheerdance competition .. promise! No regrets, as always do when I decide to do something.

Second kami sa badminton. Improved kasi third kami last year. But I knew we had that chance jud. Hindi lang talaga nakahabol sa deciding match, sa deciding pa talaga ako :)

Second din kami sa Legal Pictionary. Improvement din kasi third kami last year. History repeats itself talaga pag sa Legal Pic. Kung ano ang naexperience ng First Year ngayon, ganun din ang first year last year and iyong time na first year ako. Kung ano ang naexperience ng Second Year ngayon, ganun din the past two years. And for the past 3 years na I have been joining Legal Pictionary, fourth year talaga ang panalo. So, sana first na kami next year .. puhon 4th year na kami :)

And anong contest na sinalihan ko ang champion? Bottles and straws ... tadaa! Happy ako kasi parlor games siya and this is my first parlor game and my first champion na win. Career kasi nag-shorts jud ko .. hehe! Medyo close fight at first with the second year, pero nung nagka-error sila .. sirit-sirit nami. Next year uli .. hehe :)

Grievance? Of course, hindi talaga to competition. As much as possible, we try not to file any complaint. But when push comes to shove, when the wrong buttons are pushed, we just have to make a point. Even if we noticed something on the first day, no one heard anything from us. The marathon was controversial (as always). Lo and behold, a complaint was filed against us the next day. It was a complaint which was never raised right after the competition and involving one person whom his sportsmanship should never be doubted.

So, come parlor games time, when our team saw some loopholes, we filed complaints (yes, with an S). For us, we just want to make a point. We just wanted to submit what we have (video cam, digicam, laptop) and let the committee decide. In the end, each party can defend theirselves before the committee. We were not after the points because we believe we were quite ahead (modesty aside). Just as they had the right to file the first complaint, so did we. Hindi naman iyon personalan. And for those who felt that it was personal, I apologize if that was your understanding because it was never my intention.

I felt sad that there were some who might have felt offended. Right from the very beginning, I never stopped nor influenced nor discouraged anyone from playing during the conflicts whatever level they may be. I tried to be straightforward to those whom I can talk to and had opportunity to talk to. And before anything was discussed before the committee, I personally talked to the persons concerned. It just so happens that the persons involved were the ones I knew.

Grievance or no grievance, we were the over-all champions! I am happy and so proud because it was really a team effort. I can't think of any person who was not able to contribute, however minimal, to such victory. I was ecstatic because teachers were proud of us. I was joyful because the dynamics of the Conflict of Laws were once again changed. The tradition that second year students are usually the champions has been broken once again, the last time was around 3 years ago. Maybe it won't be a tradition after-all. The first year students were determined. The fourth year students gave all their best despite of their load. The second year students never gave up.

I am grateful because we played fair and square. To those who doubt, present your evidence because in my heart I knew we won because we were determined, disciplined, skilled and talented. We had faith in ourselves and we had faith in GOD!

Lastly, I am grateful because for the second time in law school, I had an average of more than 85% with no grade lower than 80, and as such, I was included in the Dean's List. I got an average of 87.01%. I will not hide the fact that I prayed for this one when I received my grades in three subjects. I felt that it was possible. Although I was not expecting because I had doubts as to the other subjects, I was really thinking that it was possible. I prayed that God will grant what I deserve :)

Not only that, I am also happy because 7 kami lahat third year na nasa dean's list. The other 6 are not just classmates/batchmates per se but they are those na I am quite close to so I can't help but feel really proud .. as in!

Yes, indeed, I am grateful :)