Transformer

There are moments which define the individuals that we are. Sometimes, such moments reinforce who we already are. Sometimes, it shows that we are more capable than what is expected of us. Sometimes, it depicts how much is expected of us - how we lived up to such expectation or how much we have disappointed others.

I never expected a few reactions I received after the Conflicts of Law. Yup, Conflicts ra gihapon ni .. I know, dapat magmove-on na. But there are things that need to be addressed .. hehe

Just a quick refresher. I blogged the following last January 12:

This year, we want to have fun more than anything else. This was my mantra last year and I am making the same mantra this year. If our aim is to have fun, winning will most probably follow. Kung mapildi, at least nalingaw mi! Since nag-amot nami ani, why not do our best, have fun and have that passion for excellence?

A number of our players last year will now be playing for second year. On my part, I do not ask them not to participate and not to do their best just to give way for us. I ask them to do what they want to do. We all just have one life to live anyway!

I just pray that they don't get offended with those words that I say. It is all in the spirit of fun. When I say see you in court, then, we will see each other in court. When I say we will do our best, yes, we will do things with the passion for excellence. And besides, I only say these to those that I really know. Ginasabi ko lang ito dun sa mga alam ko na alam nila na lingaw-lingaw lang gud sa akin. Ayaw ko na yang kalaban-kalaban, unless ako na ang ginakalaban .. Ah! Ibang usapan na iyan .. haha!

I am quite saddened that there are a few who felt I have "transformed" before and during the said Conflicts of Law. I am not sure about the after part .. I guess you have to ask such persons .. hehe.

I need not explain everything here as I believe this is a personal issue to those persons who felt slighted with how the way I acted during the past few weeks. I have already talked to them. But there is still one conversation that is still to be concluded .. niabot man gud si ma'am .. hehe.

Yes, maybe there was a side of me that was shown of which a number of people did not expect. I guess some did not expect that I would be joining the cheerdance competition and the bottles and straws. Heck, I even had some reactions when I said I was going to attend the badminton practice. Maybe they did not expect that I would support the grievance complaint.

But we are the ones who create expectations based on what we see, feel and experience. But such basis are sometimes limited. And the next thing you know, each individual goes out-of-the-box definition.

Yes, I admit I am emotionally competitive. When push comes to shove, I just don't sit and watch. I take action. But not to the extent that I offend other people. As I have explained, my intentions were always clear and I act in good faith. If I have offended you, I am sorry. If your perception of me has changed, I will respect that. In the first place, you were the ones who created such impression of me. I never pretended something that I am not. As I have said, I try to be consistently inconsistent. A predictable life is quite a bore .. hehe.

Anyhow, medyo nagets ko na why a few had negative reactions. All the while I was thinking that I was kidding and joking .. teasing about "see you in court" and all such kanchaw. As I've said in my previous blog, lingaw-lingaw lang to. It so happens that other mistook it as if I was serious. Am I serious? hehe .. All those kanchaw were in the spirit of fun for me and I delivered such punch lines only to those I know na ma-joke-an ko. Sorry, if naintimidate or na-offend kayo sa hirit ko. Sana sinabi na ninyo na hindi ok sa inyo kasi joke-joke lang talaga sa akin iyong mga hirit na iyon. Feel ko kasi sport kayo and mahiritan ko kayo. Mali pala ako :(

For now, medyo clear na siya konti for me. I hope ok na rin iyong iba. Wala man akong problema. If feel niyo na nag-transform ako, so be it. Ang important for now is that in the end, all is well :)

Ok? Study na ta balik :)

Grateful

GOD heard and granted my prayers .. quite literally :)

My birthday wish was for us to be the over-all champions in our Conflicts of Law. I made such wish when I blew out the candles on a cake which was a surprise from Teen, Bhing and Sol. Grabe! Napaiyak ako with matching tawa .. haha .. truly grateful for such a nice surprise.

When I blew out the candles, I made three wishes - sana ma-over-all champions kami, ma-champion sa cheerdance and ma-champion sa basketball (to make up for disappointing the boys dahil minalas ako sa pag-draw lots). Only the first wish was granted .. pero ok na iyon. Siguro, abuso na and masyado na akong malakas kay Lord pag-nagkatotoo lahat iyon.

If you have read a previous blog of mine, I wrote that I joined a number of competitions and made a fervent wish na sana ma-champion ako/kami sa kahit isa lang man sa sinalihan ko na competition. I joined cheerdance, legal pictionary, badminton and bottles and straws. Competition din ba ang grievance? hehe

I know that our performance in cheerdance was splendid, awesome, fabulous! Unfortunately, second lang kami. Well, respeto na lang sa judges' decision. I'm pretty sure it was a close fight. Akala ko, eto na iyong machampion ako .. hehe. Pero kung ako ang judge, champion jud kami sa cheerdance - synchronization, originality (skipping rope and garter!!), level of difficulty (pinakamaraming lifts, may helicopter pa!!) and costume (out of this world!). Happy na ako sa reactions na nakuha right after the competition, seeing our teachers' and friends' reaction. Happy na ako na proud mom and dad ko sa performance namin na ilang gabi rin ako late mag-uwi .. hehe (pinanood nila sa video). Happy na rin ako kasi nalingaw ako sa mga kasama ko .. hindi lang sa pagpractice, pati sabay pa magdinner. In the end, gusto ko talaga lingaw lahat ang gawin. Pag nanalo, konsuwelo na iyon. Pagnatalo, at least, nalingaw ako :) And with all honesty, I really had fun joining the cheerdance competition .. promise! No regrets, as always do when I decide to do something.

Second kami sa badminton. Improved kasi third kami last year. But I knew we had that chance jud. Hindi lang talaga nakahabol sa deciding match, sa deciding pa talaga ako :)

Second din kami sa Legal Pictionary. Improvement din kasi third kami last year. History repeats itself talaga pag sa Legal Pic. Kung ano ang naexperience ng First Year ngayon, ganun din ang first year last year and iyong time na first year ako. Kung ano ang naexperience ng Second Year ngayon, ganun din the past two years. And for the past 3 years na I have been joining Legal Pictionary, fourth year talaga ang panalo. So, sana first na kami next year .. puhon 4th year na kami :)

And anong contest na sinalihan ko ang champion? Bottles and straws ... tadaa! Happy ako kasi parlor games siya and this is my first parlor game and my first champion na win. Career kasi nag-shorts jud ko .. hehe! Medyo close fight at first with the second year, pero nung nagka-error sila .. sirit-sirit nami. Next year uli .. hehe :)

Grievance? Of course, hindi talaga to competition. As much as possible, we try not to file any complaint. But when push comes to shove, when the wrong buttons are pushed, we just have to make a point. Even if we noticed something on the first day, no one heard anything from us. The marathon was controversial (as always). Lo and behold, a complaint was filed against us the next day. It was a complaint which was never raised right after the competition and involving one person whom his sportsmanship should never be doubted.

So, come parlor games time, when our team saw some loopholes, we filed complaints (yes, with an S). For us, we just want to make a point. We just wanted to submit what we have (video cam, digicam, laptop) and let the committee decide. In the end, each party can defend theirselves before the committee. We were not after the points because we believe we were quite ahead (modesty aside). Just as they had the right to file the first complaint, so did we. Hindi naman iyon personalan. And for those who felt that it was personal, I apologize if that was your understanding because it was never my intention.

I felt sad that there were some who might have felt offended. Right from the very beginning, I never stopped nor influenced nor discouraged anyone from playing during the conflicts whatever level they may be. I tried to be straightforward to those whom I can talk to and had opportunity to talk to. And before anything was discussed before the committee, I personally talked to the persons concerned. It just so happens that the persons involved were the ones I knew.

Grievance or no grievance, we were the over-all champions! I am happy and so proud because it was really a team effort. I can't think of any person who was not able to contribute, however minimal, to such victory. I was ecstatic because teachers were proud of us. I was joyful because the dynamics of the Conflict of Laws were once again changed. The tradition that second year students are usually the champions has been broken once again, the last time was around 3 years ago. Maybe it won't be a tradition after-all. The first year students were determined. The fourth year students gave all their best despite of their load. The second year students never gave up.

I am grateful because we played fair and square. To those who doubt, present your evidence because in my heart I knew we won because we were determined, disciplined, skilled and talented. We had faith in ourselves and we had faith in GOD!

Lastly, I am grateful because for the second time in law school, I had an average of more than 85% with no grade lower than 80, and as such, I was included in the Dean's List. I got an average of 87.01%. I will not hide the fact that I prayed for this one when I received my grades in three subjects. I felt that it was possible. Although I was not expecting because I had doubts as to the other subjects, I was really thinking that it was possible. I prayed that God will grant what I deserve :)

Not only that, I am also happy because 7 kami lahat third year na nasa dean's list. The other 6 are not just classmates/batchmates per se but they are those na I am quite close to so I can't help but feel really proud .. as in!

Yes, indeed, I am grateful :)

Caught in the Middle

More often than not, I always get myself caught in the middle.

Middle in the sense that I am between cross-fires. Middle in the sense that I try to be neutral. Middle as in I want things to be ok on both sides of the fence.

I cannot really describe myself as a decisive individual. I usually decide by not making a decision at all. My vote is "either way" most of the times. Maybe because I am easy to please, mababaw lang ang kaligayahan ko. But don't get me wrong. I do try to make decisive decisions. It is a conscious effort on my part. Nevertheless, I am usually "safe" when it comes to taking sides and making decisions.

When it comes to people whom I know and they fight or have misunderstandings, I try not to take sides. My "sermon" usually ends up with you talk to each other. On one side, this person confides to me things that I could never tell the other one. Now, this other person will confide things to me that I could never share with the other person. So, I am caught in the middle. What do I do? I try to tell them to talk things out.

The thing is I am not the kind of person who compels other people to talk with another person. I believe that this should come from within and with the right timing. But I do say my piece na I pray that things will be okay.

It is just sad that by being caught in the middle, I am the one who keeps a lot of thing. I cannot share any feedback. The most I could do is to say to another person that I haven't heard anything negative from the other side. If ever I have to tell something, I ask permission. Or I tell that they have some things to talk about.

Honestly, I am flattered if people describe me as a person na "madaling pakisamahan". Salamat! But the problem with that is I seem to be okay with almost everyone and in this everyone, there are groups or individuals who clash.

I guess that's the problem with being a people-pleaser as I am. I do not see anything wrong with that as long as I am truthful to it and move away from situations where I don't have anything good to say.

I do not blabber. I try not to react when I hear something. It's hard to find one person whom I can say the things I keep because of what I have heard because I do not want things to be blown out of proportion.

Maybe that's the good thing of being a loner. They don't have to deal with people who can't seem to get along with when all you want is for people to have good relations.

Hay .. maka-sad jud baya.

I guess it is all a matter of perspective and respect :)

Blur

I am thinking of a lot of things right now.

First and foremost, I am thinking about our upcoming Conflict of Laws. I slept at 2:30 am and woke up at 7:30 am for our 9:00 am make-up class. I was kind of sleepy during the class. I am not sure how much of it I really absorbed but I am pretty sure that I got something out of it. We ate lunch, practiced for some events (confidential for now .. haha) and attended mass. Just as my classmate said, I think we accomplished a lot today. Tomorrow, we will have practice for the whole day. Good luck na lang sa amin :)

I also want to ensure that all the other events are not left out. And I am happy that there are a number of people who are participating and are in full support. I can't compel others to participate but I am extremely happy with those who have participated. Why will I let those who don't want to participate dampen the spirits of those who are active?

Second, I am thinking of my upcoming 27th birthday .. haha! I don't know why I so tell the world that my birthday is coming up. I have been like these for years. It's not that I want to remind people so that they won't forget to greet me. I think I just want to embrace my birthday and the thought that I have had wonderful years in this world .. char lang!

Third, law school! Amidst all of these, there are still stuff to read. I am quite behind transcribing lectures and reading books and digesting cases. And there's our debate of which I really want to help with the research. But so far, I can still catch up. Just one more week!

I am just happy that I am still able to keep with all these stuff that seem almost like a blur.

Yes, for sure this will just be a blur in a week's time :)

Conflicts .. coming soon!

Our Conflict of Laws is coming up on February 1 to 3.

Yes, I am excited because this a once a year event and I guess this is the biggest activity for me in law school. Why not? Eh kasi naman, wala na atang ibang activity sa law school aside from mag-aral .. hehe. So, why not get physical once a year .. hehe

We were the over-all champions last year. It has become a sort of tradition that second year students bag the over-all champion title each year. Of course, there have been exceptions. I was extremely happy with that win, not just because we won. For me, there were new friendships or just plain connection that arose from such event. I was happy because a lot of people really worked hard for it. A number of talented people were discovered .. hehe. As for me, I sort of liked my role. Photographer, videographer, cheerer .. hehe. Kung ano pwede ko magawa and pwede pagawin sa akin, why not? Ai, player pud di ai ko oi .. hehe. Sana ma-champion din ako sa kung ano man salihan ko. Kahit isa lang Lord .. hehe :)

I just viewed the clips of last year. I still get excited. Lingaw!

This year, we want to have fun more than anything else. This was my mantra last year and I am making the same mantra this year. If our aim is to have fun, winning will most probably follow. Kung mapildi, at least nalingaw mi! Since nag-amot nami ani, why not do our best, have fun and have that passion for excellence?

A number of our players last year will now be playing for second year. On my part, I do not ask them not to participate and not to do their best just to give way for us. I ask them to do what they want to do. We all just have one life to live anyway!

I just pray that they don't get offended with those words that I say. It is all in the spirit of fun. When I say see you in court, then, we will see each other in court. When I say we will do our best, yes, we will do things with the passion for excellence. And besides, I only say these to those that I really know. Ginasabi ko lang ito dun sa mga alam ko na alam nila na lingaw-lingaw lang gud sa akin. Ayaw ko na yang kalaban-kalaban, unless ako na ang ginakalaban .. Ah! Ibang usapan na iyan .. haha!

So, paano .. all the best na lang sa amin!

Astig

I am a big fan of crime TV series. And, of course, I can't help if I have my favorite crime-fighting ladies. These 3 ladies are so "astig" that I lover their characters so much!

My first favorite is "Dana Scully", played by Gillian Anderson. Ok, I won't deny that I got hooked on X-Files because of David Duchovny and the whole "the truth is out there" theme. But I am just in awe of this character, of how her character has evolved throughout all those years. From the belief that things are explained by science, she eventually opened her mind to the possibilities in these universe. If you are one of those who are aware why one of my fantasies (fantasy lang jud kay dili matinuod) is to become an FBI agent, Dana Scully is my inspiration.


My second favorite is "Olivia Benson" of Law and Order SVU. This character is played by Mariska Hargitay. I like to say her name because it is like music to the ears .. hehe. Anyway, her character is one that involves a lot of emotions yet there is a lot of control. Being a lady assigned to the Special Victims Unit, she exudes an aura of care, concern and confidence.

My third favorite is "Lilly Rush", played by Kathryn Morris, of Cold Case. I became a fan of this show because it is unique in the sense that it solves crimes which has already become a cold case, unresolved for a number of years. I like the flashbacks, how the young and present characters look alike and the songs used in the series are so apt. Lilly is one cool character. She looks sort of disheveled with her hair, but she is so detective-like.

Astig sila di ba! I think I have this fondness of badges, guns (!) and looking cool! I like the characters they play, how they stand by their convictions, the way they dress and the way they carry themselves. I know do not have their confidence, far from it. But its nice to have these astig ladies to look up to!

My 2007

Better late than never!

I have always been blessed and I have always been thankful for that. 2007 is no different.

Of course, there would always be changes, first time experiences, "what the" moments, frustrations. That's just life!

I turned 26th in 2007. 26 years in the making .. and I am still in the making ... haha! But it has been great 26 years.

Conflicts of Law, our intramurals, was awesome. Why not? Kami ang champion eh! Being in the moment, taking those pictures and videos, participating in some games and just being a part of it. And our victory parties! Lingaw! I guess it became more meaningful since new friendships were formed.

Valentine's day? Of course, I celebrated with a whole lot of classmates. We ate dinner and sang our hearts out. It was fun, fun, fun!

Exams? They were everywhere, just like all those election posters for the May election. During our last few exams, we also made time to eat out somewhere just to ease our minds. I had the most difficult exam in law school. And this was in Social Legislation. I was really looking at the ceiling, praying for answers. I got 63 in that exam. Just enought to have that 76 grade in Soc Leg.

Modesty aside, I was ever so thankful because I get to top some exams. That is definitely one of those 2007 stuff that I am truly thankful. But somehow, I cannot hide my sadness when I heard I had some friends who did not pass some of their exams, or their subjects for that matter.

This was also the year I first exercised my right to vote!

New classmates, new teachers, same old routine of recitations and exams. Haha!

Third year, first semester has been my busiest semester ever. We had recitations for our Lab Rel exams and I had to take care of our transcriptions. Nevertheless, I just had enough stuff to handle, not much, not less.

I became a jetsetter in September! I got to go to Manila twice in a month for the bar exams. I was happy to experience it before I get to take the bar exams. It was nice to help out, too and meet new people. I sure had some lack of sleep, but what the heck .. minsan lang to.

I got to see Elliot Yamin up close and really waited for him for an hour at Glorietta for his "free" concert. It was all worth it, kahit ako lang mag-isa. And believe me, since I do not want to waste time, I read Partnership while waiting amidst all the crowd hovering over me since I had a pretty good seat.

I also had my close to closure with my Ryan-Juday issue .. haha! No kidding! I saw Juday in person and she was indeed pretty. I saw Ryan too but I wasn't all that mesmerized maybe because I had too much expectations or because Juday was really pretty!

It was also great since I get to hang-out a bit with my friend Maia and Jan. I also got to see and chat for a while with a few friends from my former office.

September did not really end great for me because our beloved Dean died. He was already staying in the hospital for months but I was still so sad when he left because I know I could have learned more with him around and I would have loved that my friends also get to experience being his student.

And then my grandfather died. Another sad event. I miss him already but I know he is OK and was ready for it.

Second semester started and we still had exams pending for our first semester. Nevertheless, the quest for learning continues to go on.

There were frustrations and disappointments but I have moved on.

I also attended a beach wedding which was really nice!

I was almost burned-out and needed a break from all the routine stuff I was doing. Good thing that Christmas was just around the corner!

Our class party was fun!

Our HS reunion, make that 2 reunions, were awesome!

Being with family during Christmas and New Year was special!

Here's looking forward to 2008!

The Reunion

It has been 10 years since I graduated from High School.

I know I should have initiated a grand plan kasi 10 years nga. Paano busy? Hay , rason-rason .. hehe ..

Anyway, all I had in my mind was a simple tapok-tapok na lang - simple kain, simple storya, simple inom (ug coke) .. haha

I was not really expecting a great turn-out because it was sort of a minadali na invite and a number are already not in Davao.

Nevertheless, we were around 20 who came at Bakbak on the 26th.

After story-telling galore, we decided to meet up again on the 28th.

And so we did.

Lingaw gihapon! Kahit hindi kami ganun kadami ... reminisce pud intawon oi! With our yearbooks at hand, we tried to recall, desperately, on those times na wala pa miy buot (until now ata wala gihapon .. haha)

I knew I had a great laugh that night.

And there was great food. Sakto pud sa amo .. ayos!

And mawala ba ang picture taking. Hala! Effort din minsan sa kaiisip kung anong ipose .. haha

All in all it was a fun night up until the wee hours of the morning. Food, softdrinks, videoke, picture takings, reminiscing, story-telling and friends .. what more can you ask for?

I think it was a great combination people since the ones who really attended do not really form one barkada. It was a nice mix of people kumbaga.

And so, I am looking forward 5 years from now. By 2012, reunion uli.

P.S. wala ako sa picture kasi ako ang nagkuha ;)

Home for the Holidays

A year ago, I spent December 19 to December 24 in the hospital fighting off dengue. I was ecstatic that I got to get home for Christmas on the 24th. But honestly, I wasn't really concerned that I had dengue. I was thinking more of just being well soon because I really hate doing nothing and just lying in bed :(

And so, this year, I was so happy that I got to finish 9 simbang gabi! They said that if you can complete it, make a wish and it will come true. I hope my wish will come true but I will found out later pa.

Christmas here at home is simple. We just exchange gifts and eat simple food. For this year, simple chocolate cake .. hehe. We just open our gifts and say our thanks.

I received a blouse from my sisters, earrings from my brother and sudoku from Elaine. Woohoo!

Part of Christmas are the parties. I have attended the LA Christmas party held by the applicants, which was actually fun. I had a great time hanging out with them since me and Bem were the first resident members to arrive.

Next was the third year Christmas party, the night after we had a 2-hour exam in Corporation Law (which was difficult!) and a lecture in Special Proceedings. Of course, people were expected to be late .. haha! It was fun nevertheless because the guys and girls were game! Sayang lang kay natalo ang girls sa charades .. what the!

The next one was just last Wednesday with my high school batchmates. The usual storya-storya gud! But its so nice because there are a number of people there that I haven't seen in years and they were there. Nice!

It was really nice that I am here for the holidays! Here in Davao, I have family and friends to celebrate the season with. And so far, for the past 26 years of my life, I am always home for the holidays :)

50 First States

Toynk!

I thought that the United States of America consist of 52 states.

50 lang pala!

Pataka lang jud ako .. hehe!

I thought may 51 states na plus Guam. 50 lang pala and hindi state ang Guam.

Kaya nga iba ang candidate ng Guam and ng USA sa Miss Universe.

Naisip ko din iyong episode ng FRIENDS where Ross desperately tried to memorize all the states. I thought 51 or 52 iyong ginamention niya. So, malamang hindi. I have to watch that episode again. Tsk ... tsk ... tsk

Ayan, hawd-hawd pa!

Sowee!

Mabuti pa pag-usapan na lang natin ilang islands meron ang Philippines.

High tide or low tide?

Top Chef

Foie Gras. Mascarpone. Saffron. Frita. Flambe.

Sequestered. Revocable. Donor. Estate. Tax.

Top Chef or Tax 2.

I think I'll talk about Top Chef first.

Just a while ago on cable tv, Ilan was chosen as the Top Chef in the Season 2 of the said Reality TV Show. From the very first two episodes, I chose Sam and Ilan as my best bets.

I was a bit sad that Sam didn't make it to the Top 2 since Marcel beat him to it. Nevertheless, I am happy because my early bets made the most impression - Sam with the most quickfire wins while Ilan with the most wins in the challenge round.

Yes, I know we are quite delayed with the Top Chef series. But who cares? I don't. As long as I get to watch it on TV and just be amazed on how they concoct such dishes, not too mention salivating with their very appealing dishes.

I am not a chef, nor do I dream of ever becoming one. I just want to cook and eat.

One of the things I am happy for myself is that I can cook and bake. Basically, it boils down that I can follow instructions. Of course, I have had my failures. But that's part of this skill.

I always look forward to watching Top Chef because I learn new terms each week. The first five words I mentioned I first heard of from Top Chef. And there's more to it. I just checked out their site for the recipes. And, as I have seen from the show, I don't know if most of the ingredients they have used are available on this side of the world.

But that doesn't stop me from hoping I could prepare meals close to what they do. I need not be a chef. I just need to cook and follow instructions.

I think I can get away with it.

If only I have enough time. Maybe I just do not make time.

There are a lot of things I really want to do in life. I just need to follow through it.

If I really want to cook well, I should find time to do it. I should find time to look for ingredients and for their alternatives. I should make time.

Ilan is just 24 years old, which means I am almost 3 years older than him. But I can see that he already found something that he is really great at with the utmost passion from him. He found time to follow through his passion.

But how can I make time when my mind can only take as much information and I have all these interests.

One at a time maybe.

We just had our Tax 2 exam. I was not able to review it but I felt it was less hard than the first exam we had in Tax 1. That is for me though. I think others think quite the contrary.

I hope we passed that exam.

At least, if I can't cook as half as great as Ilan can for now, I can say that I passed all my law subjects with flying colors. (I hope so)

And follow it through with passing the bar exams with just one take.

I really hope and pray.

Thinner

Back then, I was considered as "lampayatot".

After graduation, that's when I started to gain weight.

Why not? I had review classes from 8 am to 11 am. I eat, sleep, study, watch TV .... not much to do. I don't know but I had so much appetite during that time. My favorites were sisig and gata with kalabasa. I can even finish that one pack of Monterey sisig all by myself during lunchtime.

After that, I maintained such weight when I started working.

I was not really fat. Its just that I gained weight and people who knew me back when I was younger wondered why I am not that "payatot" anymore.

When I entered law school, my weight was 52 kilos. That was ok.

I know I have been losing weight over the past years.

Last sem break, my sisters were teasing me that I was really losing weight. I checked the scales ... 49 kilos. Ok.

During the past two weeks, more people were saying that I have really lost weight. I went back to the scales .. 47 kilos.

Just tonight .. 46 kilos.

My mom said this is alright since I am still not underweight. That is one of my concerns.

Another concern of mine is that I am not doing anything to lose weight.

I am not on a diet. I have never been on a diet. I eat when I want to eat as long as there is food. I do not eat when I do not feel like eating. That's about it.

My weight for now is ok. I do not dream of losing additional pounds or kilos.

Right now, I have to segregate my clothes. I have to separate the ones which are too loose for me. My mom even brought home some pants from her stocks last night because I don't have enough pants that fit me perfectly.

They say it must be stress. Most probably. I cannot think of any other reason.

But whatever it is, I think it has to stop sometime soon.

Maybe not too soon.

Maybe my body is just making some space for Christmas :)

Material Girl

One of the best advice I got before I entered law school was to "share materials, help each other".

Actually, it was in Bisaya - "magtinabangay jud mo!".

The one who gave me these words of wisdom was Shalu, who was at that time a fourth year law student at Ateneo de Manila. She is now practicing law.

I took her advice by heart.

Tonight, I "released" the transcribed notes from our first 3 lectures in Tax 2.

Just a quick rewind ... I got into this world of transcribing just last year for PIL. I started it when I felt I do not have any materials for that subject that was as concise as our lectures. So, I asked Joann for the records of our lectures.

Before PIL, I only transcribed one lecture in Labor Standards wherein bar questions were asked. That's about it until I got into PIL. Then, Credit Transactions came next. By third year, there were notes from Tax 1 and Succession.

I knew a number of law school students were already masters in transcribing at that time. I was in awer that they could do it because I felt I couldn't do it. I did not have enough courage to ask copies for them. Maulaw man gud ko .. honest. I just take whatever comes my way.

When Han, Karla and I found out that we were all transcribing PIL lectures, we decided to distribute the work. And it worked :) Thank you guys! That was the beginning of a new era.

The Tax 1 transcription was not meant to be as big as it became. It sort of started from a small group trying to divide the work until it was decided to be a class thing. I was really embarassed to get stuff from the other section, although, I know it was ok for them.

And for the first exam in Tax 1, the compilation of transcriptions by Blithe and I as well as digests from the class was released.

Please do take note that it was not all me. I had helped from Blithe and Felai for Tax 1 transcriptions. Salamat pud!

I was quite in a "are you sure?" mode whenever I hear that the transcriptions were the only ones they read (plus past exams) in preparing for the exam (huwat?!).

I am grateful that it is appreciated and happy whenever I hear that "han-ay pagkatranscribe". But I let them know that it is based on sir's lecture. I type what I hear.

Since Tax 2 exam is coming up, I got lots of reaction tonight. I heard that someone already asked if I already released Tax 2 transcriptions ... demanding? hehehe. I think they even said "na baka wala kay gikapoy na si Jazzie." Someone asked me if I already had some notes on Tax and I asked yes. I replied "ikaw?" Of course, this was in the spirit of fun.

There are people who can't help but be concerned. They apologize because they can't and won't transcribe lectures. Some would even find ways to let others help in the transcription. I ask them to digest cases .. hehe.

No apologies needed. I am ok.

As long as I can do it, I will do it. And as long as people will volunteer to help, I won't hesitate to delegate. If nobody wants to help and I can't do it anymore, I will stop. In the end, I am doing this for me and for anyone who can benefit from it. In the end, these materials are not the be all and end all of passing. One has to understand what all those lectures were about.

I know transcribing notes is not an easy thing. That's why I try to transcribe only what I can. If others want to contribute, why not, chocnut?

It is also hard for me to delegate when I know that there are people who want their materials to be respected. I have high regard for these people because they have really worked hard for their materials.

If they share their materials with me with utmost confidentiality, I keep it. If I get no instructions, I ask their permission whenever someones else wants to get a copy. If I do get softcopies of someone else's transcriptions, I do not forward it to my friends in the lower batch. I tell them to get a copy from the one who transcribed. Since I collate our class digests, I also make sure that all those who contributed will get a softcopy of the digests as well. I do not make use of the transcriptions and case digests of other people whenever I edit transcriptions. I do not even take a look at it. If I will use a part of the transcribed lecture or a case digest, I will ask permission. Otherwise, I edit and digest on my own. That is how I respect the materials of others.

As for my materials, I try to put it out there.

If I keep it within myself, it is hard for me knowing that I entered into law school with that advice from Shalu.

Until now, I still think of that time when I absent-mindedly forgot to ask some of my classmates if they have read this material and it turned out most of the questions from that material came out.

Until now, I still think of that time when I hesitated to ask a question during our group study, thinking it was a minor stuff, but such question was asked in the exam.

I do hope that people do not become dependent with such materials. In the end, it is all up to them.

I think it is also hard for me to share my materials for a few because this would mean that I would also pass the burden to them of keeping things. And if I decide to keep my materials for a few, and I found out that someone else got hold of a copy, I would feel sad and sort of disrespected.

So, rather than keeping it to myself, I try to share.

I share my materials. The burden is hard for me to carry if I do otherwise.

I just want those materials to be respected.

No, I do not mean that you recognize and thank me for those. In the end, passing a subject really depends on you.

Respect means that you do not take recognition for something that you did not do. You need not recognize me for what I have done.

Respect means that you pay it forward. Do not keep it to yourself. In the first place, such material was shared to you.

Respect means that you put such material into good use.

I know it is possible I will get some flak with the things I do. Maybe I do already get some flak. I do not know. But I know it is possible and I think that way so that if I got wind of such talk, it wouldn't be that hard for me to accept.

In the end, I just do what I can with the purest intention.

One more thing. I just want to emphasize the fact that this is not all me. I get help.

Jo Anne is helping out with Tax 1 lectures.

Blithe, Flora, Sol and Alia are all helping out with the Corpo lectures.

And the rest of the class are putting in their share in the case digests.

I am happy with the way we compiled lectures and digests for our subjects last semester - Lab Rel, Tax 1, Partnership, Evidence, Prov Rem and Succession.

I pray it continues this semester with even better results.

This is what law school is about.

For me, that is.

Close to Home

Two days ago, someone got killed right here on the street were we lived.

It was around after 6 pm when I got a text message from my sister telling me that someone was stabbed. The house is across the house 2 houses from us. Yes, really close to home.

I have been in this neighborhood since around 1984, I think.

Sure, there have been those "kawat" wherein we just discover the next day that some of our clothes are gone. Sure, we have heard shouting matches. But nothing quite like this.

It is really sad and shocking for me to come home that night and pass by that house where there is a "police line do not cross" and there are still few kibitzers and some policemen.

What happened was that the one who died is a father of two. His sons, I think the one is working and the other is studying at Ateneo, were not yet at home. He came to visit them. When he got home, he found a robber inside their home. I think he was a policeman. We believe that a fight ensued. He was stabbed. He shouted for help. The neighbors went to assist but he was stabbed many times and there was already a lot of blood loss. The robber got away by going "over the bakod" at the back of the house.

My sister was at home that time. She called 911 and and probably another of our neighbors, too. The pulse was already faint, as it was checked by my sister.

Police, ambulance and media came. The son, who was a student in Ateneo, also came home in shock.

I wasn't here at home. I was already in the library at that time. Coincidence of all, this is the only second time this semester I went to the library that early.

The robber was caught. He was a taxi driver of Maligaya. I guess he figured that during that time, no one stays at that house. He lives right behind that house. As the police were investigating, they went to the house at the back of the house where the crime was committed. When they arrived, the lights were on. When they were at the gate, the lights were suddenly turned-off. They became suspicious. I think the guy surrendered. There were evidence - wounds and some bloodied slippers I think.

What makes this more shocking is that this guy lives next to the house where my friend/classmate lives. We haven't talked yet as to discuss the details.

I feel sad for his family. He was just here to visit his sons, with all the groceries for them. And his son comes home with a scene like that.

Tragic. Very Tragic. And so close to home.

Point Break

I haven't watched this film yet, even though it stars pareng Keanu and even though I think I already passed by one of the beaches where they shot some scenes in Australia.

Anyhow, this is not about the film but this is about me about to reach my breaking point.

It is just weird that after posting the previous blog, here I am blabbering how close I am to breaking.

I did mention that I feel I need a break. And I think that I posted that blog so that I can be amplified by appreciating how much I can do and how much it affects people.

Right now, i have a lot of things in my mind. But when do I have not much to think of?

I think it boils down how tedious our subjects are this semester. We have four subjects on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. We have recitations and we have those quizzes, announced or unannounced. I have already been caught off guard twice. My oh my!

I know I can still do this. But I really need to do something extraordinary just to make things more different. I know I can handle this but I need a break, which I know is quite improbable during these times.

Just a new activity will do. Just a change to re-energize me. Just something to stop this madness! Hehe

Or else .. I do not know what happens to me thereafter.

Thank You

When I do things, either for myself or for others, I do not expect much except that it would produce great results.

Lately, I have been getting questions on how I am able to do the things I do.

I do not have any direct answer to that. I just do what I can do.

Some may wonder if I have time to do some other stuff.

Well, I do have time to watch PBB and some other series on television. I still take time to read the newspaper everyday. I get to answer sudoku in the local paper. I play some games on my laptop. I sleep 6 to 7 hours a day, except when there is an exam. I still eat. I check out my Friendster. I blog.

There may be some other stuff I haven't been able to do for some time now.

I haven't watched a movie in months. Hopefully, I could watch one tomorrow.

I haven't played badminton for a long time. I hope I could play soon.

But that doesn't mean I am not ok with things going on in my life.

I just go with the flow and do what I can.

At the end of the day, I am thankful for all the things I could do.

I really don't expect that much gratitude for people who can benefit from what I do.

I guess that's the beauty of it. Such state of mind does not lead to disappointment. If I get something in return, that would mean so much.

Yes, those simple text messages of gratitude make my heart leap.

Yes, those simple acknowledgment that I have helped makes my life worthwhile.

Thank you for the respect.

For me, it gives much more meaning to my existence.

Thank you for the thank you.

P.S. Emote na kung emote .. haha! I am not posting this blog so that others will say thanks .. hehe .. I just feel posting :)

Tuesdays with ...

Quizzes!

Yes, we had quizzes in all of our 3 subjects today! Toynk!

One was announced and the other two were suprise ones!

Ah, what a Tuesday!

Last night and this morning, I was able to transcribe a Tax lecture and made a reviewer and study as well for our Lab Rel exam.

Pretty productive right?

But it was not enough though. I got to read the article for our quiz in Problem Areas in Legal Ethics (PALE). It was a Philo article, which for me, requires much effort to decipher. I pray we did well in our quiz.

While waiting for our first period class, I was still confused whether I will study for PALE or read Insurance stuff for our recitation.

Lo and behold, we got news that the other class was having a quiz in Tax. This means we would also have a quiz. Toynk!

All I could say at this point was: "Wait a minute, kapeng mainit! Lord, anong kasalanan nagawa namin sa iyo?" :)

And so, our Insurance teacher comes in. Lo and behold again, she asks us to put away our books and notebooks. Tadaa ... a surprise quiz! hahaha

Hay! I never had this much quizzes in one day in Law School.

I guess it was bound to happen.

And it did!

I just pray we did well :)

Time of Your Life

This is one of those songs which struck me unexpectedly.

I can't remember the first time I heard it. But I just dismissed it as one of those pop/rock stuff that sounds ok but I don't know the lyrics ... hehe

Two days ago, I was watching ER. This song was sung during a service for a kid who died of cancer. The way it was sung was quite striking. At first, I just thought it was familiar. Until the last line was sung ...

The last time this song lingered in my mind was when during my last few weeks at work. This also meant my last few weeks in Manila.

I really like this song. I wish I could sing this while playing a guitar .. yah right!

Another turning point;

a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;

directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test

and don't ask why.

It's not a question

but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictablebut in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs

and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf

In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories

and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,

it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable

but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

Connected

While channel-surfing late this afternoon, I caught a few scenes from Crash. I don't know but no matter how many times I get to watch that scene where the child gets "shot" but was protected by the cloak, I get goose bumps.

Anyway, watching Crash again made me think about how things are so interrelated.

I know this may sound so shallow, but I can totally relate this connection with my favorite TV shows.

Anyone who really knows me knows how much I love watching TV. One of my favorite TV shows is ER. Reruns are being played on the Hallmark Channel.

Just see how things are connected ...

... Noah Wyle (John Carter), my favorite ER character, is Lea Salonga's physician in an ER episode. And Lea is a definitely one of my favorite Filipino celebrities. Imagine how excited I was the first time I heard and watched the episode.

... Mariska Hargitay, of Law and Order:SVU, had a recurring appearance in ER as a love interest of Dr. Mark Green and an ER staff. I love Mariska's character in Law and Order.

... I love watching House. Omar Epps, who is now in House, played an intern in ER, who committed suicide by jumping in front of a train due to the pressure.

... George Eads, Marg Helgenberger, and Jorja Fox all had recurring parts in ER and they are now in CSI, another of my favorite shows.

... Nathan and Peter Petrelli's mom in Heroes also had a guest role in ER.

I know there is so much more connection out there but this is all I can think for now.

My mind is probably not working as it should. I am thinking of nonsense stuff .. hehe.

Change

The only constant thing in this world is CHANGE.

I am pretty we've all heard this line before. And I am pretty sure we agree with it.

Of course, there are little changes and some big ones.

As for me, I can't say that my life has drastically changed over the past few weeks or so. But, yes, there were a few changes which I had to do or chose to do. And there were some changes that just happened.

First - I had my hair "untreated". Every six months or so, I have my hair cut and treated so that it would be not that wavy.

My hair has changed ever since. When I was a toddler (see profile), you will notice that I really had straight thin hair then. When I was in sixth grade, my hair was thick yet still straight. Right now, my hair is thick and wavy. Ah, evolution!

I am not sure why it became wavy. One reason could be it was bound to be or that because I grew up having short hair. My hair right now is one of the longest I ever had. Longest here means just around shoulder's length.

We decided to go to another parlor this time around and tried a different treatment. My hair was already damaged because of years of trying to straighten or relax it. Every six months or so, it becomes wavy again.

Anyway, it is really wavy right now. Some wonder if "nagpaayo ko ug buhok." In a way, I did. There are those who don't notice me instantly because I wear my hair different now. I think we just got used to me tying my hair up.

Second - I think it is quite a change to feel quite at ease with 3 of my subjects last semester wherein I didn't worry that much as to the final exams. This was because I got the results of my exams before I had to take my final exam and the results were pretty nice. It is quite rare in law school to get all your past exam results before you take your final exams so just you know where you stand.

I do hope I can make it as well with the other exams.

Third - Classrooms and classmates. New semester means a different assigned classroom. I am now back to our 2-Manresa classroom, which is near the store where we could buy food .. hehe. And unlike the past semester, we are now fewer than before. Does this mean that we'll bond more? hahaha ...

Fourth - Teachers and Schedules. Out of the 8 teachers I have for this semester, only one of them is new to me. No past exams, no expectations, no feedback. Oh, well .. all the best to us :) And on Tuesdays, we have a "break" between 8 to 7 .. ngek!

Fifth - Our house. Christmas is around the corner and our house is all spruced up. Christmas curtains are up and so is our Christmas tree. Christmas stockings are already hanging on our doors and Christmas decors are set-up on the tables.

Merry Christmas and a Happy Change :)