Classmates

It may seem childish. But it's the truth :)

As long as I am in school, there will always be a part of me which will be sad whenever a new school year opens up.

This is because it's the time when I would know who will not be my classmates anymore ... for varied reasons that is.

There are those who would not be my classmates anymore because they belong to the other section.

There are those who would not be my classmates anymore because they failed in one or two subjects, or even more.

There are those who would not be my classmates anymore because they have to waive all their subjects altogether.

There are those who would not be my classmates anymore because they choose to transfer schools.

There are those who would not be my classmates anymore because they have decided not to attend school anymore.

Whatever the reason may be, there is that part of me that feels sad but at the same time grateful that our paths crossed.

I am just thankful that we had great classroom moments ... but then, I do hope it doesn't end there. It shouldn't end there.

Just to quote a friend, just when you found comfort and friendship ....

Although there is no assurance that things will be the same, it will sure be great to greet each other whenever we meet.

For those who belong to the other section and those who will be in the same school, not bad at all since I am pretty sure we'd see each other.

For those who I am not sure when I would see again, don't forget all those fun times.

Hai .. emote na kung emote .. haha!

But then, that's when you know who my true friends are .. those who, despite section and distance, there is still that bond that remains ... char lang!

Basta, ayaw lang ninyo ko kalimti ha ... mangimbita gihapon mo ;)

Of course, I wouldn't end this without extending my warmest greetings to my classmates, new and old alike. Cheers to another school year ... good luck na lang sa atin! Things may have changed. But for sure, I'm still happy with you guys around ... woohoo!

Tagged!

I've been tagged by my dear friend Maan .. as promised .. here goes:

Who is the last person you think before you sleep?

Usually, iyong mga taong kakilala ko na may problema, including me, kasi I pray for those persons before I sleep.

If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?

I guess so. Basta hindi lang bombahan ang headquarters kasi feeling ko hanggang dun lang ako i-assign .. talo pag-inassign sa field .. hehe

Do you sleep with the TV on?

Not really. But maka-idlip ako for a few minutes.

Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?

Yes, yes show .. fresh milk drinker gud ako :)

Have you ever won a spelling bee?

Yes, but I can't remember if I placed first. All I can remember is I placed third in Grade 1 kay mali spelling ko sa "tomorrow" ... pag-spell ko kay "tommorrow" ... hehe. And 2nd lang ako nung 2nd Year High School - tagal ng tie breaker nun hanggang nagkamali ako sa "mezzanine" .. pag-spell ko kay "mezzannine" .. sobraan ako sa double letters .. hehe

What is your longest fight with your friends?

I can't remember if I had long fights with my friends. But my 14th birthday was quite memorable because nagreconcile kami ni Maan .. hehe

Are you a fast typer?

Yes, I spent Summer '93 doing all those typing exercise sa typewriter :)

Are you afraid of the dark?

Nope

Who can you always turn to?

God

When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?

Tabo forever!

Do you knock on wood?

Yez!

Are you drinking anything right now?

Nope, but I will drink a glass of milk in a while.

Do you think you're attractive?

Honest answer, nope .. hehehe

What do you want for Christmas?

Wala akong maisip pa .. sige na nga, world peace na rin ;)

Do you know the muffin man?

Hindi

Do you talk in your sleep?

Yes, if I am super tired .. I remember saying rollercoaster one time .. hehe

Have you ever flown a kite?

Yes, when I was just a kid .. pero usually failure .. either masangit or walay hangin

When was the last time that you went swimming and where?

June 6, 2007 - Paradise Beach, Samal Island - some kinda tan pa gud ako ngayon ... hehe

Do you consider yourself successful?

A few years back, medyo .. but not right now .. a few years after siguro :)

How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?

Kapoy bilang

Have you ever asked for a horse?

Hindi pa naman

Plans for tomorrow?

Print some stuff, go to school, chika with people, deliver some stuff, buy some stuff .. very busy .. hehe

What's your middle name and why?

Sa Philippines, ang middle name kay surname sa mom .. so Matela. Middle name as interpreted in the US of A .. ah wala akong middle name na ganun ;)

Missing someone right now?

Yes, my mom, my sisters, my friends whom I haven't seen for such a long time

When's the last time you told someone you loved them?

Not sure .. but probably this morning, to my cousin Kisay

How are you feeling today?

Generally happy and contented

Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?

Good girl man ako .. hehe

What are you looking forward to?

Too many to mention

Have you ever crawled through a window?

Yes, pagna-lock iyong kuwarto tapos walang susi .. hehe

Have you ever eaten dog food?

Not yet .. haha .. may balak

Can you handle the truth?

Yes, so help me God ;)

What 3 things you always bring with you to places?

My watch, wallet and cellphone .. actually, minsan walang cellphone and wallet .. hehe

Any cool scars?

The one on my thigh .. natamaan ng stick ng kwitis ata .. New Year injury when I was still a kid.

Do you like or have a crush on anyone?

Of course .. forever Keanu, David and Noah (erase na si Ryan Agoncillo .. hahaha).

Who was the last person you kissed?

My cousin Kisay

How often do you talk on the phone?

Not much actually ...

Do you talk to yourself?

All the time .. nawei-weirdohan na nga mga kapatid ko sa akin .. epekto daw sa sobrang study .. haha

Is there something you want that you can't have?

Yes, but I am quite contented right now and I have accepted that I can't have those stuff forever

Three things about the preferred sex that you first notice?

Height, Complexion and Smile

Who are you thinking right now?

Maan - galing sa kanya tong questions eh

Who did you last hug?

I can't remember who .. basta isa sa mga classmates ko na nakita ko kanina sa enrollment

Where is your phone?

Just right beside this laptop

What was the last thing you ate?

Mashed potato and chicken garlic with rice sa KFC

Favorite Color/s?

Pinakafavorite ko talaga red - it's the color of life, love, passion, courage and it attracts babies. Ok din ang pink, yellow, lavander and sky blue

Last movie you watched in the cinema?

Kanina lang .. Ocean's 13 with Felai and Alia

What song are you currently listening to?

Wala

What do you want? Now?

Lots of stuff .. hehe

What TV show are you watching?

Sira man ang cable namin oi ... hai.. I was planning to watch Lost pa naman

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

HSBC representative .. hehe

Mission Accomplished!

Beach Escapade

One of the things I really wanted to do before classes are to begin is to go to the beach.

After our half-day beach last May 12, we decided we should head back to the beach before school starts. So, we decided on the date and I started sending text messages for people. I wasn't expecting that everyone would come but I had an ok number of responses so I was all set so to speak. Of course, I was a bit worried when I wasn't sure exactly how many we were.

But all's well that ends well. I had a grand overnight at the beach. Here are our top moments:

1. We've decided to invent new terms. The first term is ma-Jad. This means ma-sprain. After 20 minutes in Paradise Beach, Jad sprained his left ankle after playing a few minutes of soccer. Actually, he sprained his ankle over the weekend and seemed okay. Unfortunately, na-sprain uli. He had to go home and hop his way to the sakayan. Next time ...

2. The next term is ma-Rommel. This means losing your slippers. Rommel forgot where he left his slippers. The last time we saw his slippers, it was on the shoreline. However, we suspect that when the tide was high, the waves carried his slippers into the ocean .. hehe. Good thing he was able to buy another pair :)

3. The banca trip with Edin .. full-speed to Palm Hill.

4. The great hike from Palm Hill to Paradise. Amidst the scorching heat and slope, we made the hike since we wanted to transfer to Paradise. That's what I call adventure.

5. Fishing expedition with Edin. Yes, Edin and I went to the beach and searched for colorful and unique fishes.

6. Listening to James, Jayson and Kid in the middle of the night. Edin and I were already in sleeping mode but we can't help listening to their conversation. From Leonardo Di Caprio's movies to Sim's. They also had a game which I could only surmise as a bit complicated as Kid was almost about to give up playing the game and just drink instead .. hehe

7. Kayak episode with Edin, Jayson and James. Kapoy mag-sagwan oi .. pero experience na rin ;)

8. Taga-anay .. hangak jud .. hehe

9. Sugba experience with Mayetter and Rommel .. may na lang nag-baga jud :)

10. Never-ending exchange of stories with Edin, and Mayette (for a short time). Hindi kami maubusan ng usapan .. hehe .. mao na ang lingaw :)

Until our next beach episode. For now, back to school mode .. hehe :)

Hirits

-oOo-

Q: Kumusta love life?
A: I love life :P

-oO0-

Q: Papano kung magbago ang ihip ng hangin?
A: Eh, walang hangin :)

-oOo-

Q: Pwedeng lagyan ng kulay?

A: Hindi ako coloring book :)

-oOo-

Q: Pwede kayang madevelop?

A: Film ba ako?

-oOo-

Q: Bakit ka single?
A: Better single than sorry!

-oOo-

HEROES

I super love this new TV series!

I still get excited watching its trailer on Crime/Suspense Channel even though I have already watched its first 18 episodes. It really gives me the thrill!

Just imagine .. it's late at night, I am by myself watching an episode of Heroes. And then suddenly, I catch myself shouting their names - Peter, Super Hiro, and even Ando! Haha!

I am pretty sure I am not the only who is so gung-ho on this show. Why not?

Maybe one of the reasons is that I have this desire to be a superhero. Yeah, laugh all you want .. hehe ..

But, honestly, if I were to see myself in the Mirror of Erised in the Hogwarts School, I would probably see myself as a superhero.

No, I don't know exactly what my power is.

Let me give you a rundown of my potentials:

1. X-ray vision would be good since I am currently living as a four-eyed dork .. hehe. Of course, it would be the most logical power I would seek since I am wearing eyeglasses.

Sometimes, when people ask me to remove my glasses, I just say to them that I can't because if I do, they would be in danger. Think Cyclops.

Back in college, we had to do a powerpoint in computer class wherein we would advertised a new product. My product was sunglasses/eyeglasses that could zoom in/out, water proof wherein my vision would not be affected by the rain. See, I already have thought of my props.

So, yes .. any power that has something to do with vision would be great.

2. The power to read minds would not be bad. I think we all have this kind of power. We just have to enhance it so to speak. I'm pretty sure that I am not the only who has that sabi ko na nga iyon ang iniisip mo moment. Although, this would be pretty hard to prove until I tell that person before he tells me.

3. The power to move things. Be the spoon! Bend the spoon! After watching The Matrix and episodes of X-Files and reading all those supernatural stuff, I actually tried to close our door using just my mind. Yeah, call me crazy but I did try. From what I gathered, this can be done if you just think of that thing to move. Unfortunately, I have not yet been successful with this.

It's also fun to think that I could really move things. If I see an automatic door, I pretend that I can move it with my hands. Try it .. it's fun ;)

4. The power to see the future. I believe this power can also be enhanced. I try to do this by guessing what time it is before looking at my watch or by guessing who just sent me a text message.

5. Knowledge is power .. or make that memory :) There are things that I remember where others can't. I am pretty sure that you also remember that there are things you remember where others can't. So, we already have that power.

I remembered the farewell message my former manager wrote for me.

She wrote: You know I don't want you to go but what can I do if you want to save the world"

See, I do have the makings of a superhero.

When Harry met ...

... his death :(

At last, I was able to watch Spider-man 3 with my sister yesterday. (I am quite delayed with watching the movies right now .. next on my list are Shrek 3 and Pirate of the Carribean 3 .. haha .. puro 3).

Due to time constraints, we decided not to wait for the film to begin and just catch it in the middle. That was fine with me ;)

But I was really sad when Harry died .. as in! Nagsacrifice-sacrifice pa siya ... namatay din pala. Kung sa bagay, ok din siguro mamatay na ganun .. hehe .. pa-hero! Ano ba itong kinukuwento ko?

I am not sure if my reactions were somehow influenced by all those who watched ahead of me.

It was still the same Spider-man. It was still the same damsel in distress (why does Mary Jane has to be rescued every time?). It was still the same story line with the other woman. And Harry died .. hehe ...

It was kind of awkward watching Tobey danced the way he did in the film. I liked him better singin' in the rain in Spider-man 2.

Before, I get confused who is who between Topher and Tobey. That was why I was kind of looking forward watching this flick. However, Topher was super bad in his role .. masama ang epekto sa image ko sa kanya .. hehe.

The storyline on Sandman lacked something. But I don't know what that thing is.

I wasn't so amazed unlike the first one. But I did not regret watching it. It is that sort of thing that you know you just have to get over with.

Oh, well .. 1 down, 2 more to go ... and more movies to come :)

Why

Why do I feel like I am in a rollercoaster?

Why do I feel happy when I made it to the top in an exam where many have failed?

Why do I feel jubilant when I passed a subject where a number did not make it?

Why do I worry a lot about those people who failed?

Why do I worry more than those who failed?

Why do I contradict myself?

Why do I feel responsible?

Why do I worry a lot on whether I will pass all my subjects?

Why do I think of what other people’s reaction will be when I fail?

Why do I think of what I will do when I will fail?

Why do I feel thankful but sad at the same time?

Why do people say I am nice?

Why do people say they are not good when I feel otherwise?

Why do I feel that my death is near when people mention that I am kind?

Why do people ask how do I get mad?

Why can’t I explain how I get mad?

Why can’t I remember the last time I was truly mad?

Why do people fight?

Why does friendship end?

Why do some people don’t work that much?

Why do some people work that hard?

Why can some people do the things they do?

Why can’t some people do the things they should do?

Why do some persons feel bad about themselves?

Why do people misinterpret things?

Why do some persons expect?

Why do some persons let others expect?

Why do some people generalize things?

Why can’t the exception apply to me?

Why do I think I am weird?

Why am I cautious?

Why am I confused?

Why am I like this?

Why am I paranoid?

Why can’t I do something more special?

Why can’t I be extra-ordinary?

Why can’t I be a superhero?

Or maybe I already am …. I just don't know it yet ;)

Swimming Beach

Tayo na sa beach
Tayo na mag-swimming…

Summer 2007 officially started for me at around 1:00 pm of May 12.

We had our last exam for PIL at 11:00 am to 1:00 pm.

As an exclamation point to my second semester in law school as well as the beginning of my summer, I decided to go to the beach with a few of my classmates.

We were not that many as I hoped but I understood that other people already had their plans and were probably gearing to leave for their hometown – considering that the national elections was held last Monday.

So, for the first time as I could remember, I was so willing and eager to go to the beach at almost 3 pm in the afternoon and knowing that we would not spent the night at the beach. But I really felt that I had to go since summer is not summer for me until I am able to swim at the beach. I just felt that we ought to do something to celebrate since we were already done with our last exam.

It was fun indeed. It was great to swim and talk at the beach. It was quite nice that we got to talk about some things and laugh about some stuff … hehe.

And so, I was able to do what I wanted to do ... although, admittedly it was kind of bitin. Thus, a good reason to go to the beach again before another semester begins … woohoo!

When The Going Gets Tough ...

The Tough Gets Going!

Ang Tanong: Am I Tough Enough to Get Going?

This song reminds me of two things: Ryan Agoncillo and Boyzone. (things ba daw ito?)

I remember Ryan because of that Penshoppe commercial he did before. I remember Boyzone because they have a version of that song.

Anyhow, the song is very apt with law school life.

Last year, there were 4 sections in first year. Now, there are only 3 sections in first year.

From the 4 sections we had in first year, it was down to just two in second year.

I do not know what will happen next semester.

Some say second year is the toughest year. Tell that to the first year, third year or fourth year. I think whatever your year is, whether you are a regular or irregular student, law school is hard. It is built for the tough ones.

April is about to end but I still go to school each day. I study at school kay tempting kaayo ang tv and bed ... hehe. Then, we have our exams every three days or so.

We just had our 2nd exam in Credit Transactions. I was able to finish it, but I was not able to review my answers. I wanted to add more finesse to my answers, as if that would add points to my wrong answers. The problems were quite long. I answered the last questions haphazardly. I could have answered it better. Oh, well .. regrets, regrets! I just pray we did well ;)

But that's not the end of it .. we still have make-up classes in PIL, 3 more exams to go and some papers to accomplish. So many things to do, yet, I am here blogging .. haha!

My second year in law school is about to end in two weeks or so. (without the grades pa ha)

Maybe I am tough enough to be in law school. Just maybe.

For now, I maybe tough to get going. But how far will I go?

I have two more years (unta two years na lang jud) before I graduate from law school.

From there, that's when I can truly say that I was tough enough for law school.

Ewan

“Ewan” is probably the most the appropriate word I could use in describing what I feel as to our Social Legislation Final Exams.

I wish I could say I didn’t study enough. I felt I studied just enough. Maybe it was enough. But what is enough? Ewan

I did go through over the formula. I did go over the definitions. I did take note of the distinctions. But why wasn’t I able to remember it precisely as I should? Ewan.

Distinct numbers were floating in my mind. These were the numbers I would use to get the benefits to which an employee is entitled to. But why did I get confuse on where to use it? Ewan.

My fervent wish right now is to pass that exam. I should be safe thereafter. But until then, I will still be in my ewan mode.

I know my grades are pretty okay in our quiz as well as the first exam. But just the same, a very low exam could make me fail this subject (simbako!) The bottom line is that I pray we pass this one-unit subject.

I don’t hate this subject. I am even ok treating this one-unit subject as a five-unit subject. And I like our teacher.

But the final exam was just complicated for me. Well, maybe, for most of us, or even all of us. I still have to meet a classmate of mine who will tell me that he or she feels confident with that exam.

Oh, well, I have to move on. I should not linger in this ewan mode.

Besides, I have a reason to smile. I did pretty well on our final exam in Administrative Laws, as in pretty well talaga. I got 95! It’s an amazing grade for me because I don’t think I have ever had this grade in an exam in Law School before. And it came just at the right time. I just felt I need to share it since this grade is my silver lining behind the dark clouds of Social Legislation.

I can say that I am happy and sad right now. I am currently grateful but worried. Ewan talaga!

I still fervently pray that my classmates and I will pass Social Legislation.

And on an additional note, I already got the result of my 4th exam in Civil Procedure. I failed ... I got 72.5. But I had an inkling of failing that exam after I knew the answers. But despite of that I am ok because I invested well in my first 3 exams. So, I am quite safe in Civ Pro ... so far. I pray that my fifth and final exam would be better than my fourth exam.

In the end, I just pray that I pass all my subjects ;)

Reflection

I keep two journals nowadays.

I keep a gratitude journal on which I write the things I am grateful for each day. I got this idea from Oprah (oo, close kami).

I keep this blog to write about stuff which I just felt like sharing to the world (or make that .0000000001% of the population of the world).

I used to have one additional notebook before where I just felt writing about anything. But that was before blogs came about. That was before I decided to keep one journal – which is mainly for those things that I am grateful for. Until I decided to just write in that same gratitude journal any other stuff I would love to write as well as those quotable quotes I get to receive and read.

However, it made me think if my journals are really reflections of what I think.

I am not saying that all the things I write are not true, because they are 100% true.

But can I say that they are not reflections of who I am since there are things that I do not write about?

It’s the same question that has been probably been asked from you: would you be considered as a liar if you decide not to tell something to some other person?

Probably. Probably not. It depends.

With all honesty, there are things I keep to myself. Some may be handwritten in my journal. Others are kept within me. And no other person knows about it. There are times I feel the urge to share it with someone. However, I try to stop myself because I feel that there would be no point.

All the things I share I write with the knowledge that people would know about it. That’s the thing with blogs. I filter my thoughts. I only share what I feel I should share, without any fear that anybody would get to read it.

The same thing goes for my journal. No, I don’t keep it in a safe place. It’s in my drawer along with some other stuff. Although I don’t really publish it, everything I write, I write with the awareness that somebody would get to read this.

And there are things which I keep to myself. I do not know exactly the reason why I keep things to myself. Maybe that is just my nature. But I guess, everyone has that at least one thing that only he and nobody else in this world knows.

Don’t worry.

The things I keep to myself are petty, most of them anyway.

The things I keep to myself would not change your life, I think.

The things I keep to myself I keep so as not to hurt other people, I hope.

The things I keep to myself would not make me a superhero, as if.

If it would save the world, I would let you know about it ;)

Independence Day

I would not be surprised if people would describe me as an independent person. I think I am, or shall I say, I project such image.

I think I am, in one way or another. The way I think shows how I do not depend on others’ opinion. I respect their opinion but it doesn’t mean I am wrong or that they are the ones who are wrong. The way I do things shows that I can do it without their help. Of course, I will be the first one to admit and shout for help if I know I can’t do it. But I try first if I could.

I think I can’t just say that one person is truly independent. Hello … we are social beings. Remember … no man is an island! We are living in this world where we depend on each other in all the things that we do.

But I am not referring to that kind of independence. I am referring to that kind of independence which affects on how we make our choices.

I think there was one time in high school when we were asked when was the last time I felt free. I wrote that it was those years that I was a baby. Of course, I can’t remember anything at that time (wonder child na ako pag-ganun). I just based on the fact on how babies live their life. They cry when they feel like it. They sleep whenever they can. They can choose not to drink milk if they are not in the mood to do so.

As we grow older, a number of restrictions are now being imposed on us. We have to obey our parents and teachers. And of course, there are those laws imposed on us, which we have to obey, even if we don’t what the laws are. (Pano kaya yun?) Basta, ignorance of the law excuses no one from compliance therewith.

Total independence is that being able to do all the things you want to do without fear or fervor, without care or concern. Just being able to do what you want to do. I don’t think anybody could have that kind of independence. If there is, let me know.

When I chose to go back and study here in Davao, I know I would give up the kind of independence I had when I was working.

I gave up being financially independent. Of course, I do have some money saved. But it’s different since my dad pays for my allowance and tuition. And I don’t share in the expenses here at home.

Unlike when I was working, I was free to decide where to go on weekends and Friday nights. I could be easily invited to go to places and do things. It was all based on my own decision.

But now that I am back here, I have a lot of things to consider. It’s not that I am being restricted, because I am not. It’s just that I have to let people know where I am and what time I get to go home. It’s just that I have to think that there are people who are concerned about me. It’s not that they are not concerned about me when I was working. It’s just that it’s different now because I am with them.

Unlike the past 3 years that I worked, I have to think of the people around me. I have to consider that I am living a well-balanced life – family, school and friends.

It’s just that there are times I can’t help but compare. When I was working, I could choose what time I get to go home on a Friday night. I could watch a movie with my officemates and have dinner afterwards. I could choose to just stay at home and watch TV, without worrying about those who worry about me.

During all my school years, I was never the type who would stay out late. I was happy staying at home and watching TV. Aside from the retreats, I can remember only 2 overnights when I was in college – one was for a project and the other one was for a deliberation for an organization. I seldom stay late, just for those occasional Christmas parties, school programs and the like. Asking permission was never an issue since I choose to stay at home.

Don’t get me wrong, I still get to choose. But being that person who wouldn’t want others to worry about me, I choose to restrict my choices. Unlike before when all I had to think of was me and work, I now take into consideration other factors as well.

Nevertheless, I am not complaining because I know I am blessed. A number of people in this world would love to be in my position – to be surrounded by such persons who are so concerned about me. I am grateful because I have lived and living this kind of life. I am thankful because I got the chance to be independent in varying degrees.

I may not be totally free nor do I wish for that one ultimate independence day. But it does not mean am not independent because I feel I am. And that is what is important :)

COACH CARTER

No, this would not be about the film starring Samuel L. Jackson (although that was one inspiring film).

This would be about Carter, Dr. John Carter.

Dr. John Carter is one of the characters of one of my all-time favorite TV series, E.R. He is played by no other than, Noah Wyle, of which I am a great fan of ;)

Of all the characters in E.R., Carter is my favorite. Aside from the fact that he is played by Noah, who is oh-so-handsome and who truly fits the role, I like Carter because his character truly evolved over the years - from being an intern to a resident, from being a student to a certified doctor, from being single to being married.

But why do I call him Coach Carter. It is because he had a number of lines in the series which have moved me.

Just last week, as I was doing my last-minute channel surfing before studying, a rerun of ER was being shown in the Hallmark Channel. I had an inkling that it was one of the episodes where Carter delivered some lines that I could not forget. I chose to watch (instead of studying … hehe) because I had that feeling that I should watch it. And it was indeed that same episode I was watched years ago.

In that episode, Carter was asking to be transferred from being an intern in surgery to being an intern in the emergency room. He talked to the chief of surgery and said things that really made great sense.

(I tried looking for the script over some websites but it takes some time)

He said that he knows he can be a competent surgeon, that he can be good at it. But he feels that he can never be great at it. He feels that he could be great if he would be practicing emergency medicine instead. He likes to be in E.R.. He likes to interact more with his patients, which is one big difference between those who work in surgery and those who work in the E.R. The Chief Surgeon just asked how old he was, 25? 26? And yet, Carter seems to be so certain of what he wants. The Chief Surgeon even said that at his age, there were times he would think if surgery was really for him.

That was one enlightening scene.

Yes, I would want to do something I could be great at. Unlike Carter, there are a number of things that I am not certain.

I have lived the past 26 years of my life just being contented of being good in the things I do. Sure, some people may think that I am great at some stuff. I thank them for that. But that feeling of greatness should come from within. Through all this life I have lived, I don’t think that there was one time that I was certain that I felt the greatness, true greatness, of being me. Maybe that’s the problem. I was contented to being and feeling good.

I hope that what I am doing right now is towards such greatness. And then, Coach Carter would be proud of me.

Great Expectations

The results of the 2006 Bar Examinations already came out.

Talk about great expectations!

There were a number of people I knew who passed the exam. Unfortunately, there were also some who didn’t make it.

It’s some kind of an awkward situation, probably one of the most awkward situations, where in you know you’ve passed and there’s someone close to you who didn’t make it and you are being asked if she passed. Take it from me ;)

Anyhow, if you were made to choose to pass the bar exam on one take with a 75 grade or to pass the bar exam on your 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th take but you topped the exam … what would you choose?

With conviction, I choose passing the bar exam on the first take. I know that being a top-notcher is a big deal. And I truly admire people who make it.

But I don’t think that they took the exam with the goal that they will top that exam, well, maybe some. If they did, what would happen if they didn’t top it but nevertheless passed? Wouldn’t they feel unsatisfied, unhappy and uncontented? To think that there would be other people who would love to be in their position in just passing the exam.

Sure, I believe in the saying that you reach for the stars, so even if you fall .. medyo naa gihapon ka sa atop sa inyong balay .. hehe

Being a top-notcher, cum laude and all those honors do not necessarily make a person. I guess you know what I mean.

There are people in this world who were just average students but are doing extremely well and successful in their lives. There are people who were so brilliant in school, but they don’t seem to be that happy, contented and successful in their present lives.

I believe it’s a combination. Work hard and use your fullest potential. Know when to strive and know when to be contented. Do not rest on your laurels. Do not be discouraged with failures. Stand up and be counted (huh? .. pang-election?)

Just do your best. If you do, there would be no regrets in the end. And if you made it to the top ... then, good for you ;) If you don’t, then, at least you did your best. Maybe you could try again.

I have nothing against those who topped those bar or board exams. I am pretty sure that offers from all over the world would be knocking on their doors for such achievement. But it doesn’t end there. One still has to work hard and prove that he is more than that title.

I do not dream of being a top notcher in a bar/board exam. I would not know what to do with it. Indicate it in my gravestone? Indicate it in my signboard or business card?

No, I don’t think so. I guess that would be asking for too much pressure. What if I will not live to their expectations, would they say that I was just a fluke?

I like to be the underdog most of the times. I like to underestimated. For me, this means that I could rise above expectations. It would be easier to make people happy, contented and satisfied. Less pressure, better results.

Trust me, I’ve been there ;)

*i am not sure what is wrong .. i can't post picture .. so plain text na lang muna*

8 MILE

We just had another exam the other night … but there’s more to come … as in more to come talaga!

I will be studying for 8 more exams for the rest of April … yes, 8 exams!

I think it would be easier if I would run a distance of 8 miles (with a few stops to catch my breath … hehe).

Oh, well, that’s part and parcel of being a law student.

But before I prepare for my marathon exams, it was great that I had dinner at Penong’s with a few of my classmates, had time to download some songs at Basty's and had a short chit-chat at Autoshop with some of my classmates as well. Energy boosters perhaps!

The Pursuit of HappYness

In my pursuit of happiness, I watched this film.

The first plan was to watch Dreamgirls with my mom and my sister. But I declined since I already made plans of going to the library for an hour or so (this doesn’t make me a geek – this just means I’m a law student!). I don’t know but I wasn’t really all-hyped up in watching Dreamgirls. I think I had too much of it during the Oscar Awards.

Anyhow, since they decided to watch The Pursuit of HappYness at 6:45 pm, I decided to watch it with them.

It was a nice film. Simple but nice – not much fanfare, not much drama, not much comedy. Just enough to make you think your own pursuit of happiness, and maybe smile and laugh a little (sitback and relax a little!)

And it was at that time that I thought about Thomas Jefferson writing that Declaration of Independence. Him saying that we have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I thought about how he knew to put the 'pursuit' in there, like no one can actually have happiness. We can only pursue it.

These lines made me think. Am I pursuing my own happiness?

What is happiness anyway? Well, we could go on and on with this question. But I could probably sum it up by saying that happiness is that feel good sensation,

wherever it may come from, even from the most simple things.

So, can we only pursue happiness?

Well, not really. I think we can really have happiness. Chris Gardner in the film eventually became really and truly happy after those trying times in pursuit of his own happiness.

So, am I pursuing my own happiness?

I think so. I know it sounds like there's not much conviction in my answer. Maybe because if I compare the things I do to pursue my own happiness with what Chris did, pursuing may just be too strong a word.

But, yes, I do things to make myself happy. I do things to make others happy.

Yes, I pursue happiness.

So, did the film make me happy?

Yes, it did. It was nice to watch. Tears were not needed so that I can say it was a nice film.

It was simple. It had its funny moments, especially with the kid around.

So, how am I doing?

I am happy.

And I continue to pursue happYness.

So So Deaf

Classmate: Jaz, ikapila ka sa CPA board exam?

Jazzie: Wala man ko gakape

I am so, so deaf! To think that my classmate was right in front of me!

My mind was probably wandering at that time.

And for those who are curious, no, I did not top the board exam when I took it (duh!). I passed .. period .. exclamation point.

Well, we need a good laugh every now and then :)

The Usual Suspects

On a Saturday, my sentiments basically revolved on the same stuff.

Yes, I could call them the usual suspects on my Saturdays.

Don't get me wrong. When I say usual suspects, I don't intend to be negative. It could be a positive suspect as well. It could be a suspect behind my smile or behind my frown.

As I've mentioned before, we usually have an exam on a Saturday. And so, from 12 mn up until 4 am, most of my time was devoted for our 2nd exam in Transportation Law. I was up until 2:30 am studying for our exam. I woke up at around 9:30 (yes, I still try to sleep 6 to 8 hrs a day). We had our exam at from 2 pm to 4 pm. In the end, I was nevertheless frustrated because I was not contented with my answer. Parang sulat-sulat lang ako nang sulat. There was a question or two that stumped me, but I had written something on it. I hope I could get some points on that. I nevertheless hope that I fared well in my past two exams, even though I honestly don't feel as confident as I could be, no matter how many hours I devoted studying for the exam :(

And then there's the DVD/TV thing to think about. I noticed that there's not much to look forward to on a Saturday night anymore (for me, that is). Maybe the networks don't put on the great shows on a Saturday since a number of people are out on a gimik. Anyhow, I watched 4 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. Time well spent. Nice episodes, nice realizations. Maybe I should feature it on a later blog.

I couldn't help to check the internet as well. There's my e-mail which I check but does not necessarily mean that I have a number of personal e-mails (read: not spam). There's my Friendster account, just checking for updates from people and wondering when would I find time to write testimonials ... hehe. And of course, there's checking out the blog of others as well as blogging myself.

Time-outs are usually on a Saturday. For law students like me, it is actually fitting so as to relieve the stress and the anxiety we just had on our exam. It's great to be with great company. Unfortunately, I decided to pass (for the nth time) any session tonight. Next time, hopefully ;)

There's that craving to eat as well. Right after the exam, I passed by Goldilocks and bought popcorn and dinuguan. What a combination!

At times, I do look forward to go to the mall. I look forward to eat, watch a movie, play at the arcade or just stroll. Since we just had the Araw ng Dabaw yesterday, there are a number of celebrities in town. Spongecola was to perform for free at the GMall. I like their song Bitiw. No, I did not watch. I was not in the mood and I had no one to go with. And besides, I am not a big fan of big crowds ... hehe ;) Come to think of it, it's been sometime when I went to a mall on a Saturday.

And if I still find time, I try to study for an upcoming exam. Yes, even on a Saturday. It might be weird. But it's part and parcel of being a law student (I should get an award for this).

Yes, these are my usual suspects on a Saturday.

Surprise!

Surprise!

I had a haircut today (see picture .. although, the new cut is not that obvious in the picture .. gusto ko lang talaga siguro ilagay picture ko dito). I like it. Quite rejuvenating. Got some positive response :)

Surprise!

Miscommunication! Our teacher thought our exam was scheduled just last night. We thought it was still going to be on Saturday. I haven't even studied for Saturday's exam. We got into a compromise. We will still have an exam this Saturday but we had the quiz as well. I pray we did good.

Surprise!

Despite the fact that a number of my classmates were quite jittery upon knowing that our teacher was expecting to have an exam, I was pretty calm. Maybe because I felt that we were in good faith and that it was basically a miscommunication. After our quiz, I was still okay. I pray that the result will be okay as well.

Surprise!

There was no Amazing Race via satellite on Studio 23 this morning.

Surprise!

Rob and Amber got eliminated :( Although, I do not really want them to win, I want them to be in the game as long as they can because they make the race more competitive and more challenging. Oh well!

Surprise!

Since I got home, I haven't opened any book. I haven't studied. I feel lazy. Actually, I feel sleepy. I am seldom like this. This is not me. I will make up for it tomorrow ... the procrastinator in me!

Time to sleep .. no suprise there!

10 things

I've been thinking about something to write for about 10 minutes now. No specific topic comes to mind. Nothing!

I don't think there is nothing really to write. I think that I am thinking too much that's why I don't know what to blog. Random thoughts are swimming in my brain.

Maybe, that's what I will write ... just random thoughts ...

10 things I am thinking about:

1. I am thinking how tired I was last Saturday. I was in school from 9:00 am up to just before 6:00 p.m. I did not have a banana for lunch when I think I needed it the most. I was really looking for it during lunch ... hehehe ....

2. I am thinking about our high school reunion ... it's been 10 years since we graduated ...

3. I am thinking about having a hair cut tomorrow .. actually, later since it is already 2:00 am ...

4. I am thinking about friends I should be adding in Friendster .. hehehe ...

5. I am thinking if I deserve the testimonials I receive (in Friendster pa rin) ... nevertheless, I am thankful that people think of me that way ... I just pray that I truly deserve it ...

6. I am thinking of when I could watch a movie next. A number of my friends have already watched 300. I haven't, but that's ok. It's just that the last movie I watched (in a cinema) was Mano Po 5 ... haha ... we watched it because I refused to watch Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo ... hehe ..

7. I am thinking how cute my cousin Mikayla is. I just saw her picture ...

8. I am thinking about our Bar Ops trip to Manila this September. Excited na ako ......

9. I am thinking of those instances where I was caught in the middle, refusing to take sides but somehow can't make ends meet ....

10. I am thinking that I should be sleeping by now ...

Oh well!

Of All Trades

Am I Jack of All Trades, Master of None? Maybe ...

Last night was another night well spent as some of my classmates and I went out for some food and drinks (drinks man gihapon ang tubig di ba?). One of our topics during conversation is what we do and what we love to do (there's a big difference between the two).

Anyhow, I noticed that there are lots of stuff I know how to do and I actually do.

I know how to swim. But I can't swim that fast. When I entered a swimming competition, I placed 3rd in butterfly, 2nd in freestyle and backstroke and 1st in breaststroke. The thing is there were only 3 of us in the competition for that age bracket. This was way back in elementary.

I know how to play badminton. I love to play badminton. I try to play whenever I can. But through the years I have been playing, I am not a great player. Although, I know I have improved over the years. Pero kulang pa.

I have played billiards. Pero igo lang makaigo ... haha!

I used to play basketball. I love basketball, too. But I didn't have that much opportunity to play. So, no opportunity to improve.

I know how to play darts. But I don't know how good am I yet. I haven't been competitive in this sport just yet ... hehe

I know how to play bowling. Maka-strike or spare man ako every now and then ... but I am not a great player.

I cook and bake. I love to cook. But I seldom do it nowadays. I do cook and bake whenever the opportunity comes up and I am not that lazy ... hehe. But I can't say I'm a great cook. I just cook. Sometimes, palpak luto ko, so remedyohan konti. Try and try until I succeed. There are times I don't even taste what I cook. I let other taste it because they are the ones who will eat it anyway. I think I am ok with cooking because I find it easy to follow instructions.

I love to sing. But I do not have a great voice. Siguro, nadala if nag-voice lessons ako nung bata pa ako ... haha! Pasensiya na sa mga tao na kasama ko if magvideoke .. gusto ko lang talagang kumanta. Just a trivia though, I joined singing contest when I was in grade 3 in our subdivision. I placed 3rd and there were 5 contestants. There were 2 who tied for first place ... so, actually, 4th ako ... hehe..at least, hindi last!

I know how to dance. I think I still got rhythm. I dance to my own beat ... hehe! In fairness, I joined the Dance Showcase last year. I may not be a great dancer, but I dance.

I love taking pictures and videos. But I am not a bonafide photographer and/or videographer .. not yet anyway ... hehe

I love scrapbooking! But I only do this during summer, sem break and Christmas break. I do not feel great with this skill though.

I have passed the CPA Board exam. But I am not an expert in this field. I took the exam back in 2001 and I was never involved in CPA stuff since then. I can't measure how much I know about this subject nowadays. Maybe what I have learned are way back in my memory box.

I worked as a computer programmer for 3 years. It was great knowing that I could be good in something I really didn't study in school. All I had was training and great persons around to ask for advice. Eventually, there came a point that people asked questions from me. That felt great! But I don't know about now. I have forgotten a lot of those stuff already as my brain has limited capacity and there are a lot of law stuff to save in my memory .. hehe.

These are the some of the stuff I know how to do or love to do. Of course, I am not superhuman. There are things I don't know how to do or things that I would never be good at. But I am ok with that. I am only human.

For now, these are a few of the trades I have in my sleeve.

Yes, I maybe a jack of all trades, master of none.

Make that JAZZ of all trades, master of none. And that is fine with me ;)

Playing Favorites

It's fun to play favorites once in a while.

However, this might be a bore to some since I am going to blog about my favorite subjects. (huwaat?!?)

As we were about to leave the class last night, my classmates and I had a short conversation as to our favorite subjects.

So it got me thinking .. what are my favorites? But before I start, let me tell you that the greatest factor in these favorites is the subject itself. The teacher could be a factor, but not that great. The grade I get is not that much a factor as I get to find out about it at the end of an exam or semester.

Back in elementary (elementary tawag sa amin, hindi grade school), high school and even college, my favorite has always been English. I am not sure why. Maybe because I love to read and write about a whole lot of stuff. My interests are so varied and English helps me in putting things into perspective. The teachers I had were good. More than anything, it was their personality I liked best (sipsip). But as I've said, they are merely contributory factors. And yes, my grades in English were pretty good those times.

Statistics may be a weird favorite for a number of people. I am not sure why I like this subject. I am not saying that this subject is easy for me because it is not. But the grades I got back in high school and college were over and above my expectation ... hehe. I remember one time when my classmate and I went up front to prove our point that our answer is correct in one of the questions in our exam back in College. As in nagdrawing-drawing jud mi sa blackboard ... permutation ata topic nun (pero nakalimutan ko na ano ang permutation ... hehe). Our teacher gave in ... hehe.

Now that I am in law school, I still can't help playing favorites.

Looking back at my first semester when I was in first year, I don't think I had any favorites. I was still adjusting so to speak.

But come second semester, my favorite was Constitutional Law 2 - Bill of Rights. I think I liked it because it involves those stuff I see on TV - "you have the right to remain silent ...." - all those stuff. The subject was quite interesting. And it helps that I could feel that our professor is passionate in what he does. In addition, I seldom hesitate when I ask question .. that is a good sign for me. There was even a time when we had the usual Q and A the day before the exam and somehow I got lucky since the logic applied to the question I had was asked during the exam.

I also liked Criminal Law 2 as well as Obligations and Contracts. Crim 2 because it involves crimes (tv na sab akong reason). I am not sure about ObliCon but I was always looking forward studying for this subject, preparing those reviewers and even making my own questions at times.

Last semester, I enjoyed Labor Standards class. The topics were quite engaging and I was eager to listen because this subject is quite hard to pass. Yes, LabStan is a favorite of mine even though I got 78. Actually, I am thankful for that 78. See, the grade is not much of a factor in playing favorites.

For this semester, my favorite is Civil Procedure hands down. I think it is interesting for me because it involves a number of subjects I already took the past year or so. One major factor is our professor, no less than the dean. Grabe! Parang memorize na ata niya ang Rules of Court! Nasa heart and mind na niya iyong subject! I am grateful that I get to study CivPro under him. Civil Procedure is sort of a summation of how things are handled before, during and after trial of civil actions. So, I basically get the whole picture in my imagination. I know that this is a favorite of mine because right after we discussed the answers to our exam, I already had that sudden urge to study for the next exam, which should still be at the end of March. O kitams!

However, this does not mean that I hate all the other subjects because I do not. There are those subjects that I least like, but I do not hate them. If I will hate them, it will require much effort from me to study for such subjects. And besides, all those subjects teach me a lot of things, not just those technical stuff but as well as how to think about stuff and even about life in general.

We all have our favorites - movies, songs, colors, actors, actresses, books. So, why not favorite subjects?

What's yours?

At this point

(O di ba, picture ko)

I am not sure if you guys have noticed it. But my past blogs have generally been about how good my life has been.

Of course, this may be an unconscious effort on my part. Hmm .. maybe subconscious.

It may be unconscious in the sense that I just decide to blog whenever good things happen to me.

It may be subconscious in the sense that I may be trying to block out negative things from my life.

Actually, it may be any, both or none of the above. This is me. This is my life. And this is what I write.

I am happy with our family. Sure, there may be obstacles. But those may be petty ones. There may be frustrations. But I can get over it and pray over it. I take the good things. For the past 3 weeks, my mom, dad, sister, brother and I have been playing badminton on Sunday afternoons. If that is not a great thing, I do not know what it is. When I was in Manila, I had this thought of wishing I could play badminton with family. And it is happening. I am grateful.

I am happy with law school. Sure, we have back-to-back exams especially with the end of the 2nd semester coming up. But that is law school. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to enter into law school. What I didn't expect was the friendship ... hehe ... such drama! The spirit of camaraderie, since first year up until now, that I have felt is completely beyond me. Its great to have classmates who trust each other, who help out each other, who study with each other, who laugh with each other, who share their problems with each other, who sing and dance with each other, who eat with each other.

I am happy with my friends because I still get in touch with them. Most of them anyway ... hehe. It's nice that after a number of years, I still have that connection with them. There are only a few people who get to enjoy this kind of gift.

I believe in the wheel concept of life. Sometimes I wonder when would the time be when I am at the bottom since I am feeling on top for the greater part of my life. But I don't think it is worth worrying about. I live the life I have and constantly thank God for every blessing that come my way.

I pray that I am worthy of all these :)

Blur

The past weeks have passed by like a blur.

Things happened so fast. I have had so much fun that even though there were lots of stuff going on.

Yes! We were the over-all champions in our Conflict of Laws. We are "oh so happy" and "oh so thankful" about it because we know that we worked hard for it. I know that it has been over 2 weeks since we won ... but, yes, I am still jubilant over it ... buot-buot mo? I joined badminton and legal pictionary ... we placed third but I was still happy. I will make bawi next year ... hopefully!

I was happy that I got to know more people in law school and I got to know better those people I already know. I was happy to cheer for my classmates and was quite proud whenever I see and feel that we helped out each other.

Right after we won, we went out to celebrate. It was great fun as we get to talk and reminisce all the fun we had and look forward to next year ... haha!

But the elation did not end there as the Saturday after the Conflicts, a few of us went out for drinks .. hmm .. am not sure if that is applicable for me though ... hehe. Maybe, since my classmates bought a pina colada for me. And that was all I had that night plus a few pizza bites ;)

On Valentine's Day, I went out for dinner with 15 other 2nd year students. Thereafter, we sang our hearts out in videoke, with more people joining the party ... yeah! I so love singing! Haha .. truly fun!

The week went on as last Saturday, we had our Victory party (at last!). As usual, videoke na sad! Of course, we ate with gusto. Some danced, drank, sang and others simply talked or listent. Lingaw jud ba!

I will only live once. That's why I enjoy life to the fullest. I am happy that I am in the company of great people.

Events and all those gimiks may have passed by so fast. Things may have been a blur. But those moments will truly last a lifetime ... drama oi!

For sure, I continue to cherish it ... even with the onslaught of exams, make-up classes and recitations we have to conquer in the coming weeks.