All Star

So much to do so much to see 

So what's wrong with taking the back streets 

You'll never know if you don't go 

You'll never shine if you don't glow

For the past few weeks, you can say I have been maximizing my brain capacity (although scientifically, I think it's not that possible yet).

Yes, I had and have so much to do, so much to read, so much to write .. basta so much!  It has gotten to the extent that I get so easily irritated lately.  I also worry a lot.  There are times I find myself teary eyed, almost crying or really crying.  

So this is what happens when I take so much.  It's not just my brain which has been greatly effected.  I find myself emotionally unstable as well.  Mentally and emotionally unstable - thank you Lord wala pa ko gidala sa mental hospital.

I think what has been keeping me sane, nevertheless, is that I try to do something different or appreciate what's at hand.  I rant when a scheduled meeting does not go on as planned due to some fortuitous event.  I know it's beyond my control.  But I can control my emotions.  So I just rant.  And then relax.  And here comes a friend asking for some lawyerly help.  We chat while I prepare a doc and she shares some good news.

There are days when I already had my day planned.  Then an errand, a sudden meeting, an unexpected call from a client.  Schedule disrupted.  I get pissed.  But I can't do much about it.  I just go on and on and do what I can.  And then, I go to the mall, eat by myself - some me time.  And now, I'm back to myself.

Yes, I really had and have still so much to do until the end of August (or who knows until when).  There are times that I just have to let it out.  I asked for this.  This is what I want and I know that I am not just lucky.  I am blessed to have all of these!  

I know I'll get through it.  With God's grace.