I will turn 30 soon.
A batchmate of mine passed away last week. He was 30. May he rest in peace.
So forgive me if I get a little bit sentimental today. Maybe morbid is the more appropriate term.
The concept of death is not actually something I dare not to tread. Family and friends who know me for quite a number of years are not shocked anymore on how open I talk about it compared to the general population.
I don't know why I am like that.
When I was in sixth grade and my grandmother passed away, there were a lot of people visiting the wake considering that my grandfather was a barangay captain for 25 years. When I noticed it, I said "kung si lolo ang mamatay, mas madaming tao magbisita". I was told not to say that again, no matter how true the statement is.
In college, I was asked by my friend why I talk about death openly. She was wondering whether I get worried if I get to heaven or hell or purgatory. She worries about that. Truth be told, I pray I'll go to heaven but I don't really know where I'm going (who does?). But such concept of afterlife eludes my mind when I talk of death.
When this popular heartthrob died years ago, I thought of my college graduation picture as the one that should be placed near my coffin. I look happy and dignified and youthful in that picture. I can't find any other more suitable picture for now.
Don't be surprised if you hear statements from me like "ok naman sa akin mamatay" or "if mamatay ako, ok lang sa akin na ganito mangyari" or "hala, walang sisihan pag namatay si ganito" (Knock on wood!).
I actually could go on and on with my morbid concepts. Morbid but practical and real, I think.
Don't get me wrong because despite this attitude of mine, I feel pain and grief and devastation and emptiness and sadness and every sentiment that goes with death. I still do cry, like any other normal person.
I don't know where I get this kind of attitude. What I do I know is that this kind of thinking helps me appreciate more the fact of how blessed I am with this life and how I have to spend the rest of my life.
I had a teacher in philosophy who said that we are all dying. And I agree with him. We all know that we live with a borrowed life - and that's makes us all dying. It's not for us to decide when and how we are going to die. The only thing we can do is how we are going to live. And I am making the most of this borrowed life as best as I know I could.
So forgive me if I get a little bit sentimental today. Maybe morbid is the more appropriate term.
The concept of death is not actually something I dare not to tread. Family and friends who know me for quite a number of years are not shocked anymore on how open I talk about it compared to the general population.
I don't know why I am like that.
When I was in sixth grade and my grandmother passed away, there were a lot of people visiting the wake considering that my grandfather was a barangay captain for 25 years. When I noticed it, I said "kung si lolo ang mamatay, mas madaming tao magbisita". I was told not to say that again, no matter how true the statement is.
In college, I was asked by my friend why I talk about death openly. She was wondering whether I get worried if I get to heaven or hell or purgatory. She worries about that. Truth be told, I pray I'll go to heaven but I don't really know where I'm going (who does?). But such concept of afterlife eludes my mind when I talk of death.
When this popular heartthrob died years ago, I thought of my college graduation picture as the one that should be placed near my coffin. I look happy and dignified and youthful in that picture. I can't find any other more suitable picture for now.
Don't be surprised if you hear statements from me like "ok naman sa akin mamatay" or "if mamatay ako, ok lang sa akin na ganito mangyari" or "hala, walang sisihan pag namatay si ganito" (Knock on wood!).
I actually could go on and on with my morbid concepts. Morbid but practical and real, I think.
Don't get me wrong because despite this attitude of mine, I feel pain and grief and devastation and emptiness and sadness and every sentiment that goes with death. I still do cry, like any other normal person.
I don't know where I get this kind of attitude. What I do I know is that this kind of thinking helps me appreciate more the fact of how blessed I am with this life and how I have to spend the rest of my life.
I had a teacher in philosophy who said that we are all dying. And I agree with him. We all know that we live with a borrowed life - and that's makes us all dying. It's not for us to decide when and how we are going to die. The only thing we can do is how we are going to live. And I am making the most of this borrowed life as best as I know I could.
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