Caught in the Middle

More often than not, I always get myself caught in the middle.

Middle in the sense that I am between cross-fires. Middle in the sense that I try to be neutral. Middle as in I want things to be ok on both sides of the fence.

I cannot really describe myself as a decisive individual. I usually decide by not making a decision at all. My vote is "either way" most of the times. Maybe because I am easy to please, mababaw lang ang kaligayahan ko. But don't get me wrong. I do try to make decisive decisions. It is a conscious effort on my part. Nevertheless, I am usually "safe" when it comes to taking sides and making decisions.

When it comes to people whom I know and they fight or have misunderstandings, I try not to take sides. My "sermon" usually ends up with you talk to each other. On one side, this person confides to me things that I could never tell the other one. Now, this other person will confide things to me that I could never share with the other person. So, I am caught in the middle. What do I do? I try to tell them to talk things out.

The thing is I am not the kind of person who compels other people to talk with another person. I believe that this should come from within and with the right timing. But I do say my piece na I pray that things will be okay.

It is just sad that by being caught in the middle, I am the one who keeps a lot of thing. I cannot share any feedback. The most I could do is to say to another person that I haven't heard anything negative from the other side. If ever I have to tell something, I ask permission. Or I tell that they have some things to talk about.

Honestly, I am flattered if people describe me as a person na "madaling pakisamahan". Salamat! But the problem with that is I seem to be okay with almost everyone and in this everyone, there are groups or individuals who clash.

I guess that's the problem with being a people-pleaser as I am. I do not see anything wrong with that as long as I am truthful to it and move away from situations where I don't have anything good to say.

I do not blabber. I try not to react when I hear something. It's hard to find one person whom I can say the things I keep because of what I have heard because I do not want things to be blown out of proportion.

Maybe that's the good thing of being a loner. They don't have to deal with people who can't seem to get along with when all you want is for people to have good relations.

Hay .. maka-sad jud baya.

I guess it is all a matter of perspective and respect :)