Caught in the Middle

More often than not, I always get myself caught in the middle.

Middle in the sense that I am between cross-fires. Middle in the sense that I try to be neutral. Middle as in I want things to be ok on both sides of the fence.

I cannot really describe myself as a decisive individual. I usually decide by not making a decision at all. My vote is "either way" most of the times. Maybe because I am easy to please, mababaw lang ang kaligayahan ko. But don't get me wrong. I do try to make decisive decisions. It is a conscious effort on my part. Nevertheless, I am usually "safe" when it comes to taking sides and making decisions.

When it comes to people whom I know and they fight or have misunderstandings, I try not to take sides. My "sermon" usually ends up with you talk to each other. On one side, this person confides to me things that I could never tell the other one. Now, this other person will confide things to me that I could never share with the other person. So, I am caught in the middle. What do I do? I try to tell them to talk things out.

The thing is I am not the kind of person who compels other people to talk with another person. I believe that this should come from within and with the right timing. But I do say my piece na I pray that things will be okay.

It is just sad that by being caught in the middle, I am the one who keeps a lot of thing. I cannot share any feedback. The most I could do is to say to another person that I haven't heard anything negative from the other side. If ever I have to tell something, I ask permission. Or I tell that they have some things to talk about.

Honestly, I am flattered if people describe me as a person na "madaling pakisamahan". Salamat! But the problem with that is I seem to be okay with almost everyone and in this everyone, there are groups or individuals who clash.

I guess that's the problem with being a people-pleaser as I am. I do not see anything wrong with that as long as I am truthful to it and move away from situations where I don't have anything good to say.

I do not blabber. I try not to react when I hear something. It's hard to find one person whom I can say the things I keep because of what I have heard because I do not want things to be blown out of proportion.

Maybe that's the good thing of being a loner. They don't have to deal with people who can't seem to get along with when all you want is for people to have good relations.

Hay .. maka-sad jud baya.

I guess it is all a matter of perspective and respect :)

Blur

I am thinking of a lot of things right now.

First and foremost, I am thinking about our upcoming Conflict of Laws. I slept at 2:30 am and woke up at 7:30 am for our 9:00 am make-up class. I was kind of sleepy during the class. I am not sure how much of it I really absorbed but I am pretty sure that I got something out of it. We ate lunch, practiced for some events (confidential for now .. haha) and attended mass. Just as my classmate said, I think we accomplished a lot today. Tomorrow, we will have practice for the whole day. Good luck na lang sa amin :)

I also want to ensure that all the other events are not left out. And I am happy that there are a number of people who are participating and are in full support. I can't compel others to participate but I am extremely happy with those who have participated. Why will I let those who don't want to participate dampen the spirits of those who are active?

Second, I am thinking of my upcoming 27th birthday .. haha! I don't know why I so tell the world that my birthday is coming up. I have been like these for years. It's not that I want to remind people so that they won't forget to greet me. I think I just want to embrace my birthday and the thought that I have had wonderful years in this world .. char lang!

Third, law school! Amidst all of these, there are still stuff to read. I am quite behind transcribing lectures and reading books and digesting cases. And there's our debate of which I really want to help with the research. But so far, I can still catch up. Just one more week!

I am just happy that I am still able to keep with all these stuff that seem almost like a blur.

Yes, for sure this will just be a blur in a week's time :)

Conflicts .. coming soon!

Our Conflict of Laws is coming up on February 1 to 3.

Yes, I am excited because this a once a year event and I guess this is the biggest activity for me in law school. Why not? Eh kasi naman, wala na atang ibang activity sa law school aside from mag-aral .. hehe. So, why not get physical once a year .. hehe

We were the over-all champions last year. It has become a sort of tradition that second year students bag the over-all champion title each year. Of course, there have been exceptions. I was extremely happy with that win, not just because we won. For me, there were new friendships or just plain connection that arose from such event. I was happy because a lot of people really worked hard for it. A number of talented people were discovered .. hehe. As for me, I sort of liked my role. Photographer, videographer, cheerer .. hehe. Kung ano pwede ko magawa and pwede pagawin sa akin, why not? Ai, player pud di ai ko oi .. hehe. Sana ma-champion din ako sa kung ano man salihan ko. Kahit isa lang Lord .. hehe :)

I just viewed the clips of last year. I still get excited. Lingaw!

This year, we want to have fun more than anything else. This was my mantra last year and I am making the same mantra this year. If our aim is to have fun, winning will most probably follow. Kung mapildi, at least nalingaw mi! Since nag-amot nami ani, why not do our best, have fun and have that passion for excellence?

A number of our players last year will now be playing for second year. On my part, I do not ask them not to participate and not to do their best just to give way for us. I ask them to do what they want to do. We all just have one life to live anyway!

I just pray that they don't get offended with those words that I say. It is all in the spirit of fun. When I say see you in court, then, we will see each other in court. When I say we will do our best, yes, we will do things with the passion for excellence. And besides, I only say these to those that I really know. Ginasabi ko lang ito dun sa mga alam ko na alam nila na lingaw-lingaw lang gud sa akin. Ayaw ko na yang kalaban-kalaban, unless ako na ang ginakalaban .. Ah! Ibang usapan na iyan .. haha!

So, paano .. all the best na lang sa amin!

Astig

I am a big fan of crime TV series. And, of course, I can't help if I have my favorite crime-fighting ladies. These 3 ladies are so "astig" that I lover their characters so much!

My first favorite is "Dana Scully", played by Gillian Anderson. Ok, I won't deny that I got hooked on X-Files because of David Duchovny and the whole "the truth is out there" theme. But I am just in awe of this character, of how her character has evolved throughout all those years. From the belief that things are explained by science, she eventually opened her mind to the possibilities in these universe. If you are one of those who are aware why one of my fantasies (fantasy lang jud kay dili matinuod) is to become an FBI agent, Dana Scully is my inspiration.


My second favorite is "Olivia Benson" of Law and Order SVU. This character is played by Mariska Hargitay. I like to say her name because it is like music to the ears .. hehe. Anyway, her character is one that involves a lot of emotions yet there is a lot of control. Being a lady assigned to the Special Victims Unit, she exudes an aura of care, concern and confidence.

My third favorite is "Lilly Rush", played by Kathryn Morris, of Cold Case. I became a fan of this show because it is unique in the sense that it solves crimes which has already become a cold case, unresolved for a number of years. I like the flashbacks, how the young and present characters look alike and the songs used in the series are so apt. Lilly is one cool character. She looks sort of disheveled with her hair, but she is so detective-like.

Astig sila di ba! I think I have this fondness of badges, guns (!) and looking cool! I like the characters they play, how they stand by their convictions, the way they dress and the way they carry themselves. I know do not have their confidence, far from it. But its nice to have these astig ladies to look up to!

My 2007

Better late than never!

I have always been blessed and I have always been thankful for that. 2007 is no different.

Of course, there would always be changes, first time experiences, "what the" moments, frustrations. That's just life!

I turned 26th in 2007. 26 years in the making .. and I am still in the making ... haha! But it has been great 26 years.

Conflicts of Law, our intramurals, was awesome. Why not? Kami ang champion eh! Being in the moment, taking those pictures and videos, participating in some games and just being a part of it. And our victory parties! Lingaw! I guess it became more meaningful since new friendships were formed.

Valentine's day? Of course, I celebrated with a whole lot of classmates. We ate dinner and sang our hearts out. It was fun, fun, fun!

Exams? They were everywhere, just like all those election posters for the May election. During our last few exams, we also made time to eat out somewhere just to ease our minds. I had the most difficult exam in law school. And this was in Social Legislation. I was really looking at the ceiling, praying for answers. I got 63 in that exam. Just enought to have that 76 grade in Soc Leg.

Modesty aside, I was ever so thankful because I get to top some exams. That is definitely one of those 2007 stuff that I am truly thankful. But somehow, I cannot hide my sadness when I heard I had some friends who did not pass some of their exams, or their subjects for that matter.

This was also the year I first exercised my right to vote!

New classmates, new teachers, same old routine of recitations and exams. Haha!

Third year, first semester has been my busiest semester ever. We had recitations for our Lab Rel exams and I had to take care of our transcriptions. Nevertheless, I just had enough stuff to handle, not much, not less.

I became a jetsetter in September! I got to go to Manila twice in a month for the bar exams. I was happy to experience it before I get to take the bar exams. It was nice to help out, too and meet new people. I sure had some lack of sleep, but what the heck .. minsan lang to.

I got to see Elliot Yamin up close and really waited for him for an hour at Glorietta for his "free" concert. It was all worth it, kahit ako lang mag-isa. And believe me, since I do not want to waste time, I read Partnership while waiting amidst all the crowd hovering over me since I had a pretty good seat.

I also had my close to closure with my Ryan-Juday issue .. haha! No kidding! I saw Juday in person and she was indeed pretty. I saw Ryan too but I wasn't all that mesmerized maybe because I had too much expectations or because Juday was really pretty!

It was also great since I get to hang-out a bit with my friend Maia and Jan. I also got to see and chat for a while with a few friends from my former office.

September did not really end great for me because our beloved Dean died. He was already staying in the hospital for months but I was still so sad when he left because I know I could have learned more with him around and I would have loved that my friends also get to experience being his student.

And then my grandfather died. Another sad event. I miss him already but I know he is OK and was ready for it.

Second semester started and we still had exams pending for our first semester. Nevertheless, the quest for learning continues to go on.

There were frustrations and disappointments but I have moved on.

I also attended a beach wedding which was really nice!

I was almost burned-out and needed a break from all the routine stuff I was doing. Good thing that Christmas was just around the corner!

Our class party was fun!

Our HS reunion, make that 2 reunions, were awesome!

Being with family during Christmas and New Year was special!

Here's looking forward to 2008!